The things that make a person say ‘wow’ reveal a lot about a person.
When job hunting, people often recommend you ‘find out what they are looking
for’. If you align yourself with their needs, then you’re more likely to be
successful. When I would go to my friends and neighbours apartment in the
evening straight after training, where they have two little girls, the things
on my mind would typically be how I could have avoided a submission during
training, how I could have submitted someone, or what technique our Sensei
showed us. With that in mind, I would start to show them the move in a way they
may be able to do it, and present it in the most ‘fun’ way I could. When the
penny-dropping moment of what the escape or submission looks like happens, I
expected a reaction from them as you would get from most people who can
appreciate the importance of a submission or an escape. Nothing. No reaction. They
watched and were just disappointed if anything. They would sometimes turn their
back and continue watching their anime or film. I’d have a drink and relax or
something while they did that, by which time the girls want to play again. They
would indicate what they wanted to play, and I would just have an open mind to
do whatever they wanted. It would mainly involve lifting them high in the air
and going round and round in circles, which was fun. This taught me a lot about
the girls, and what they like, and also what they are perhaps less interested
in. As people grow up, they become more so-called ‘sophisticated’ but actually
the instincts are the same as a child, or even an animal. The things that they
are interested in, indicate a lot about them. The things they are not interested
in, also indicate a lot about them.
I recently bumped into famous UFC fighter Anderson Silva in a trainer
store in London. As I walked in, I saw two guys in the corner, and they had a South
American appearance. One of them had a ‘famous’ face, I was sure I had seen him
before. The other was quite big, had a few cuts on his brow, and looked like he
was ‘with’ the other guy. I then looked again, and thought this might be
Anderson Silva! Since I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, I really needed a
definitive answer on whether it was true. My gut instinct was to ask him, are
you Anderson Silva?! But then I thought I would feel really silly if he said “No”.
I looked at the guy with him and mimed, “Is that Anderson Silva?!” He nodded
and smiled, but gestured to keep it low as they didn’t want much attention.
That was kind of like his permission to talk to him. So I greeted Anderson
Silva, shook his hand. He was very warm in greeting. I said, I was going to go
see your fight tomorrow, but have a wedding so can’t make it unfortunately, but
good luck. He said thank you and asked where am from. I said I just moved back
from Hong Kong. I introduced my wife, and he was very warm to her also. We then
has a very brief chat about where am training jiu jitsu in the UK, and he said ‘God
bless you and have a great day’. We then continued shopping in the store. I
said to my wife, do you realise who that was?! She said, I’ve seen him somewhere
but not sure. I said Anderson Silva!! One of the greatest fighters in the UFC
ever. She was also then stunned albeit not as much as I was. I said, I think I
need to sit down and breathe properly for a little while. Anderson Silva, from
the interaction I had, was a gentle and friendly, and naturally smiling guy.
Maybe he isn’t like that in real, maybe he is. I don’t know, because I don’t
know him. But I went kind of crazy when I saw him. Maybe many people would do
the same or similar if they met someone they admired in some way. I went crazy
because he was famous, not because I know him as an individual. It so happened
that he was nice, but do we really think about how good a person it is that we
admire? Or are we more dazzled by their fame?
Marketing, is all about using what appeals to people. Most people ‘wow’
when they see a Lamborghini. Most people ‘wow’ when they see some incredible football
skills. People who ‘wow’ at these things, may find it hard to understand why
people may not find those thing interesting. The way that money is currently
prioritised, and has been for a long time, may also have significant flaws.
Money is never owned, it is issued by someone, and then borrowed by someone
else. Money is always changing hands. What use is stagnant money to a person
who wants to use it to enjoy their life? It has to be used, and for that it
needs to change hands. Not a single person comes out of a womb with wads of
cash. It is temporarily ‘associated’ with you. So from that we should be able
to infer that it isn’t inherently yours, and can also leave you in the way it
left someone else. So why the pride? It’s so irrational, but yet billions of
people are trying their best to acquire endless amounts of it. Why? Because it
is rightly or wrongly associated with ‘value’. Some of the deepest, nicest
smiles I ever got from people I didn’t even know, were from people who didn’t
have much money. Having recently moved from Hong Kong to London after four
years, it is interesting hearing insights from people on the economy and
personal finances. They said that people in Hong Kong were very materialistic
etc. To be honest, I didn’t see that since I chose who I associated with. I
didn’t understand the local language so didn’t understand the topics of
conversation, and therefore just associated and heard what I chose to hear. In
the UK I can understand everything, and the focus that is given by many to endeavour
extremely hard to make money in many innovative ways, and that becomes the
principle goal of many peoples lives. A person in a relationship where his or
her partner is about to leave them, and it’s not something they want to happen,
puts them into a lot of anxiety. This anxiety can stop one from even conducting
normal activities and having normal interactions with people. Whereas a person
who is very secure in their relationship, they don’t have this fear and can go
about other interactions properly as a result. Similarly, the person who is ‘borrowing’
a lot of money, or having this ‘temporary time with it’, thinking that they own
it, of course they will feel anxiety in the same way a person who feels their
partner will leave them, would. And they can’t even have normal interactions; they
may get superiority complexes, and may feel that wearing certain clothes, or
driving certain cars isn’t ok.
Is it only money we admire? According to the Vedic teachings, there are
6 key attributes of Krishna, which we all have to some extent, just not to the
full extent, and yes just like the money, they don’t actually belong to us, we
just like to think they do. Other things that we admire may be spin-offs from
these attributes. These attributes are i) Strength, ii) Fame, iii) Wealth, iv)
Beauty, v) Knowledge, and vi) Renunciation. The first 5 are quite self
explanatory, but what is renunciation, and how is it attractive? If a person
has the ability to walk away, it is an attractive quality. A sense of detachment
or aloofness is attractive. If someone is so madly affected by something
mentally for example, it isn’t pleasant for them, nor is it to see. Being
temporary possessors of these 6 attributes, pride forms. It is just like a
spoilt son who has inherited so much, and feels he can treat people badly since
he has so much. It isn’t his, but feels he is so great. Even if one works very
hard for money, it is still not theirs, it is given by someone, or by others.
So why the pride?
This can be applied in all areas in life and work. What pulls us to
people? Is it their attributes like wealth, fame, beauty, etc, or is it their
values, who they are? Not even what they have done, but who they are. That is
deeper. The saying that form is temporary, and class is permanent, goes a long
way. A persons form varies based on so many factors, but their character is the
factor worthy of admiration, respect. If there is no character, then there
should be no respect. If there is a real understanding of who we are, that we
only temporarily posses things, we don’t really own them, then character will
be respected over things and so-called achievements. Then society becomes more
considerate of others and the environment we live in; which is the only way
there can be peace.
Nearly all men can stand
adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.
Abraham Lincoln. 
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