Misdirected Admiration

Wow

The things that make a person say ‘wow’ reveal a lot about a person. When job hunting, people often recommend you ‘find out what they are looking for’. If you align yourself with their needs, then you’re more likely to be successful. When I would go to my friends and neighbours apartment in the evening straight after training, where they have two little girls, the things on my mind would typically be how I could have avoided a submission during training, how I could have submitted someone, or what technique our Sensei showed us. With that in mind, I would start to show them the move in a way they may be able to do it, and present it in the most ‘fun’ way I could. When the penny-dropping moment of what the escape or submission looks like happens, I expected a reaction from them as you would get from most people who can appreciate the importance of a submission or an escape. Nothing. No reaction. They watched and were just disappointed if anything. They would sometimes turn their back and continue watching their anime or film. I’d have a drink and relax or something while they did that, by which time the girls want to play again. They would indicate what they wanted to play, and I would just have an open mind to do whatever they wanted. It would mainly involve lifting them high in the air and going round and round in circles, which was fun. This taught me a lot about the girls, and what they like, and also what they are perhaps less interested in. As people grow up, they become more so-called ‘sophisticated’ but actually the instincts are the same as a child, or even an animal. The things that they are interested in, indicate a lot about them. The things they are not interested in, also indicate a lot about them.

 

Mr Silva 

I recently bumped into famous UFC fighter Anderson Silva in a trainer store in London. As I walked in, I saw two guys in the corner, and they had a South American appearance. One of them had a ‘famous’ face, I was sure I had seen him before. The other was quite big, had a few cuts on his brow, and looked like he was ‘with’ the other guy. I then looked again, and thought this might be Anderson Silva! Since I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, I really needed a definitive answer on whether it was true. My gut instinct was to ask him, are you Anderson Silva?! But then I thought I would feel really silly if he said “No”. I looked at the guy with him and mimed, “Is that Anderson Silva?!” He nodded and smiled, but gestured to keep it low as they didn’t want much attention. That was kind of like his permission to talk to him. So I greeted Anderson Silva, shook his hand. He was very warm in greeting. I said, I was going to go see your fight tomorrow, but have a wedding so can’t make it unfortunately, but good luck. He said thank you and asked where am from. I said I just moved back from Hong Kong. I introduced my wife, and he was very warm to her also. We then has a very brief chat about where am training jiu jitsu in the UK, and he said ‘God bless you and have a great day’. We then continued shopping in the store. I said to my wife, do you realise who that was?! She said, I’ve seen him somewhere but not sure. I said Anderson Silva!! One of the greatest fighters in the UFC ever. She was also then stunned albeit not as much as I was. I said, I think I need to sit down and breathe properly for a little while. Anderson Silva, from the interaction I had, was a gentle and friendly, and naturally smiling guy. Maybe he isn’t like that in real, maybe he is. I don’t know, because I don’t know him. But I went kind of crazy when I saw him. Maybe many people would do the same or similar if they met someone they admired in some way. I went crazy because he was famous, not because I know him as an individual. It so happened that he was nice, but do we really think about how good a person it is that we admire? Or are we more dazzled by their fame?  

The Money Delusion

Marketing, is all about using what appeals to people. Most people ‘wow’ when they see a Lamborghini. Most people ‘wow’ when they see some incredible football skills. People who ‘wow’ at these things, may find it hard to understand why people may not find those thing interesting. The way that money is currently prioritised, and has been for a long time, may also have significant flaws. Money is never owned, it is issued by someone, and then borrowed by someone else. Money is always changing hands. What use is stagnant money to a person who wants to use it to enjoy their life? It has to be used, and for that it needs to change hands. Not a single person comes out of a womb with wads of cash. It is temporarily ‘associated’ with you. So from that we should be able to infer that it isn’t inherently yours, and can also leave you in the way it left someone else. So why the pride? It’s so irrational, but yet billions of people are trying their best to acquire endless amounts of it. Why? Because it is rightly or wrongly associated with ‘value’. Some of the deepest, nicest smiles I ever got from people I didn’t even know, were from people who didn’t have much money. Having recently moved from Hong Kong to London after four years, it is interesting hearing insights from people on the economy and personal finances. They said that people in Hong Kong were very materialistic etc. To be honest, I didn’t see that since I chose who I associated with. I didn’t understand the local language so didn’t understand the topics of conversation, and therefore just associated and heard what I chose to hear. In the UK I can understand everything, and the focus that is given by many to endeavour extremely hard to make money in many innovative ways, and that becomes the principle goal of many peoples lives. A person in a relationship where his or her partner is about to leave them, and it’s not something they want to happen, puts them into a lot of anxiety. This anxiety can stop one from even conducting normal activities and having normal interactions with people. Whereas a person who is very secure in their relationship, they don’t have this fear and can go about other interactions properly as a result. Similarly, the person who is ‘borrowing’ a lot of money, or having this ‘temporary time with it’, thinking that they own it, of course they will feel anxiety in the same way a person who feels their partner will leave them, would. And they can’t even have normal interactions; they may get superiority complexes, and may feel that wearing certain clothes, or driving certain cars isn’t ok.

 

Admiration

Is it only money we admire? According to the Vedic teachings, there are 6 key attributes of Krishna, which we all have to some extent, just not to the full extent, and yes just like the money, they don’t actually belong to us, we just like to think they do. Other things that we admire may be spin-offs from these attributes. These attributes are i) Strength, ii) Fame, iii) Wealth, iv) Beauty, v) Knowledge, and vi) Renunciation. The first 5 are quite self explanatory, but what is renunciation, and how is it attractive? If a person has the ability to walk away, it is an attractive quality. A sense of detachment or aloofness is attractive. If someone is so madly affected by something mentally for example, it isn’t pleasant for them, nor is it to see. Being temporary possessors of these 6 attributes, pride forms. It is just like a spoilt son who has inherited so much, and feels he can treat people badly since he has so much. It isn’t his, but feels he is so great. Even if one works very hard for money, it is still not theirs, it is given by someone, or by others. So why the pride?

 

This can be applied in all areas in life and work. What pulls us to people? Is it their attributes like wealth, fame, beauty, etc, or is it their values, who they are? Not even what they have done, but who they are. That is deeper. The saying that form is temporary, and class is permanent, goes a long way. A persons form varies based on so many factors, but their character is the factor worthy of admiration, respect. If there is no character, then there should be no respect. If there is a real understanding of who we are, that we only temporarily posses things, we don’t really own them, then character will be respected over things and so-called achievements. Then society becomes more considerate of others and the environment we live in; which is the only way there can be peace.

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.

Abraham Lincoln.  

Active danger?

Recently I was exploring the functionality available on my iPhone, and discovered the Heart Rate app. Before sleeping, my heart rate was consistently in the late 50’s or early 60’s. I then went to Thailand, and due to the change in climate from around 15 degrees celsius to 30, and the intensity of training 2-3 times a day for a few days outdoors in the heat without a brief patch to climatise, I managed to get dehydration through a combination of inadequate water intake, combined with the drastic increase in training frequency and intensity. It was impulsive because I was in Thailand and I had the facility and daily routine that could afford it. It wasn’t planned or well thought out. I got into work on return from Thailand feeling extremely tired, and due to a bug going around, I managed to add to my fatigue and dehydration, with flu. I went straight to the doctors in the afternoon, and was forced to take the afternoon off with severe fever and a doctors note to take time off work after that too. Before I knew it I was in bed for half a day and when out of boredom I checked my heart rate, it was consistently in the 90s. My body was actively doing something even though I was doing nothing but lying in bed. It was active as it was in trouble.

A year or so ago, I needed the help of a chiropractor in recovering from an injury, and due to his passion about what he practised, he would explain the concepts and detail of his process of diagnosis, aswell as explaining how his tools worked. I would visit him roughly once a fortnight, and he would ask about any changes in how it felt to check for improvements or if there is stagnation in the evolution of the injury. He explained that as long as the injury is changing i.e. if pain is felt in another closely area rather than the original affected area, then there is likely to be progress as it shows the body recognises the need to rehabilitate and cure, and is actively working on it. He then introduced an interesting tool. This tool was a handheld device that he would use to scan the area, and give a reading of the voltage. The reading represented how ‘active’ the cells in area were. He explained, if someone has cancer, the concerned part of the body is inactive as the body for some reason cannot be active when and where it needs to be active, this leads to the inability to recover. Low readings in afflicted areas are therefore not good. The area I had the injuries had a higher voltage than the equivalent part of the body on the opposite side. This was good, and showed the body had recognised the need to use more energy to enable change and healing in that area. The reading was high in areas that needed to recover. The areas with issues, had high levels of activity. The other areas which were not injured had low readings and were less active.

In the book entitled ‘How the Mighty Fall’ by Jim Collins, he refers to the various stages of corporate demise, beginning with pride and overconfidence leading to a corporate or individual not changing, out of arrogance. The next stages were the competition taking over. Then position would begin to demise. When demise is visible, the arrogant company or individual panics and begins to change, in some cases making sweeping changes. The changes are not necessarily based on intelligent decisions, but sometimes just attempts to salvage something. The example of Hewlett Packard was cited, when they were at a stage where competition was taking greater market share, and a new CEO was then hired, who made sweeping changes, which led to no improvement, in fact things got worse for the company. The level of activity increased when there was trouble. When trying to recover, the company, not the body in this instance, increased activity.

When I started training jiu jitsu, in my first few weeks, I would often come in with other beginners. Sometimes these were amateur or semi-professional fighters in other disciplines such as boxing. They had big, and/or athletic body frames, were aggressive sometimes in approach. They would be up against small guys who were very welcoming, warm, and gentle in nature. When these rough boxers would be paired up with the smaller, more experienced guys, I would worry for the smaller, more experienced guys in the dojo since the level of activity and desire to win from the beginners was so much, and based on my limited understanding, this could end badly for the small guys. So I watched as the beginner requested to spar with the small guy . He just sat there with very little aggression, smiling. The boxer prepared himself and charged into him. The small guy was really doing very little, wasn’t moving much at all, almost no activity except a few hand movements to block the quite crazy attacks of the beginner. After a few minutes at most, the beginner was tapping. The inactivity of the experienced guy was due to his understanding of what is really dangerous and what isn’t. This gave him grounding and confidence to be able to smile and be gentle. I was intrigued by the way dedication to learning the proper techniques and their application would succeed over power and strength. It wasn’t a one off, this would work every time.

Questioning the purpose of our actions, the purity of our motives, are therefore all very important whether this is at work, in sport, or our social and family lives.  

“There are four classes of men; i) lazy intelligent, ii) busy intelligent, iii) lazy fool and iv) busy fool. So first-class man is lazy intelligent. Just like you'll see the high-court judges. They're very lazy and most intelligent. That is first-class man. They are doing everything very soberly. And the next class: busy intelligent. Intelligence should be used very soberly. And the third class: lazy fool, lazy, at the same time, fool. And the fourth class: busy fool. Busy fool is very dangerous. So all these people, they're busy. Even in this country, everywhere, all over the world, not this country or that country.”

Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada