We often think we are able to guide
ourselves sufficiently well, though many experiences in a huge range of fields show
there's much to be said about being instructed, being told what to do. Whilst
we need a balance between own judgement and instruction, in a world that is
moving toward doing what you want, how you want it, we need to reassess how
helpful instruction can be.
“They
want to be told what to do!”
"They want to be told what to
do!", said His Holiness Rtadvaja Maharaj to me, after I explained to him
the lack of discipline with children these days. When showing some of the kids in
our martial arts class a set of core exercises, I personally found it frustrating
to deal with when I didn't see anywhere near level of discipline we had when we
were kids neither in terms of perseverance nor behaviour. Rtadvaja Maharaj had
extensive experience dealing with children in the US, in raising them with
cultural values, spiritual values, respect and self sufficiency. He explained
to me how he facilitated their taking taekwondo and judo lessons and how house
rules and etiquette were pivotal to everything in their development. He
explained how many of them come to him now as adults and thank him for such discipline
at the time. After this conversation I kept in mind what he had instructed,
that the kids, they actually want to be told what to do! This seemed totally
against what I thought. Every time I told them what to do, it seemed they didn’t
have the perseverance to follow it, or somehow preferred to do their own thing,
their own incorrect adaptation. This had led me to change tact. I thought, ok
it’s a new generation of kids, their lifestyles are different, maybe I need to
be more accommodating. So over time I had either gone on one extreme or another;
being either too lenient, or too strict. This was because no one had, with real
conviction, confirmed what style works in that context and what doesn’t. So
with Maharaj’s advice, I adjusted the style to put discipline and house rules
back in the centre. Instead of saying "Hey, you just missed 5 repetitions,
go to the side of the room and do double the number!" but rather "Do
20 additional repetitions as it's a house rule we all must follow so we improve
our discipline." A somewhat small change in the context of a crazy room of
kids who are falling over each other, but one that would prove effective over
time. After a few months, I thought I'd try a different technique. I had been
trying to work on some explosiveness, which wasn’t so strong. If you imagine sitting
on the floor with your knees and shins flat on the ground with your feet tucked
behind, and your back straight, from this position, the technique involved getting
up onto both feet in a single motion. It's not only a test of explosive power
but also the mental orientation. Your mind must be convinced, or trust the fact
that you will thrust up in one motion. So as we were all about to cool down I said.
what I'll do next I want you guys to do it. I demonstrated the thrust technique
and stood up on both feet in one motion to a set of faces which had the
expression "Oh, that looks cool, but I don't think I can do it." I
explained that more than half of the challenge is mental for you, as you have
sufficient physical capacity to do it, put your minds to it imagining what
you'll do, and your body will follow, trust me. The kids got to their start
positions, and within a few seconds, to my surprise, almost all of the ten or
so children were able to do it. Although not showing my surprise, I was
overwhelmed at how they trusted the instruction, and most of them we're able to
get up, some of them with some real explosiveness! What a pleasure to see. They
went to their parents and friends after class and also to their surprise,
showed what they could do. Parents and children were happy and this created a
kind of buzz, a kind of energy, I had not experienced there before. I believe
instruction, discipline, and direction that Maharaj spoke of, had eventually led
to this trust, and that trust had led to results that were otherwise impossible.
Unconstructive
Creativity
I was invited to speak at a
conference consisting of the banking community this week. One gentleman
reflected, that bankers should respect and appreciate the openness of the Asian
regulators in having open dialogue with the community they are regulating. It
was a sensible point I thought. I expected most to agree with this, however,
another gentleman, shared a contrary opinion. He said that when the banking
community has been left to it’s own accord, it has resulted in overly complex,
tedious, and mis-focussed dialogues, where 90% of the time has been spent
discussing 10% of the issues. He said that we can become too creative, which
has proven to lead to further complications. I was astonished to hear this from
people who have the image that they think they know everything and are God’s
gifts to everyone else. He rounded off by saying, sometimes we need to be told
in black and white, what to use, and what to do. Remembering Rtadvaja Maharaj’s
guidance on the kids wanting to be told what to do and the results that
followed from this, it drew a clear parallel. When trying to get a huge, global
community who are super high tempo, to reduce systemic risk, and increase
transparency, how is it possible to achieve this without having certain common
standards being set? In the beginning of regulatory change nobody wants to be
told what to do, but after being given time and space it is realised that there
is a need to set the standard in certain areas. From a legal standpoint, if
there is not a consistent set of rules across jurisdictions, there may be market
arbitrage. From a technical standpoint if there are not standards in place,
things simply won't operate. From a process perspective if there are not
consistent standards, there may not be transferability. We need to be told what
to do, otherwise we can become what I’d call “unconstructively creative.”
Does this mean anything for us from
a personal and also leadership perspective? Social media has effectively set an
even playing field in one sense, for everyone irrespective of age, social
status, geography etc. Justin Bieber has a Twitter account, and so do I, so do
some of my cousins in India who live in rural villages, so do my uncles who are
pushing 60. It’s changed certain aspects of the way we live, the way we share,
the way we interact. The temptation is therefore there to view everyone as
equal. The previous generations in their time never had these technologies,
they used to interact in person face to face, most the time. In light of this
new way, if we throw away values of respecting elders who have more experience, benevolence, and a desire to help the future generations, this may represent some of this 'unconstructive
creativity'. If we don’t understand the principle of taking guidance, and we
become more self-centred, and do not come to this realisation on our own accords,
there will come a point where in the depth of our existence, we will hunger to
be told what to do.
