The Hidden Whisper

Entitlement

For the first time, I’ve found myself living at the very end of a train line. Naturally one of the attractions is that there’s a good probability you will be able to get a seat, even in the rush hour. Indeed some people will even miss a train if it means they can be in the front of the queue for the next one where they will guaranteed be able to get a seat. Observing peoples behaviour on trains is always fascinating. Levels of irritability, entitlement, lack of consideration for others, and management of personal space are amongst the most common issues. In the train we often experience greater levels of physical proximity than is normal throughout the day. On the train the rush hour, you are physically much closer to people you don’t even know, than you probably have ever been with your work boss or colleagues who you spend all day with. It therefore makes for a very interesting set of psychological dynamics. A lot of this article is based on assumptions which may or may not be true, but it is how I see the situation. “Entitlement” is responsible for most of the conflicts in the world. Land ownership, entitlement to bigger bonuses, access to more rights, etc are at the crux of most tension in the world. So back to the train scenario, is it natural for people who get on the train first to feel a sense of entitlement and right to a seat more so than someone getting on the train for just a couple of stops?  If someone has waited for 3 trains in order for them to get a seat, do they then feel a greater sense of entitlement? If a person who works for the MTR and is a train driver gets on the train, should they feel a greater sense of entitlement? Should locals over tourists or foreigners feel a greater sense of entitlement to the things in their country? Whatever the case may be, this sense of entitlement is probably the most common cause of serious conflicts in the world. The challenges of the world are more often than not up-scaled versions of micro-challenges that we all face every day. The feeling of entitlement to a seat is the same feeling in essence as the cause of most wars. In Britain, there was recently a documentary about how migrants are 10 times more hard working than locals. This is leading to their being more successful, and over time I believe will have a bearing in the countries distribution of wealth like it has done for decades. This creates more challenges around entitlement. Is something yours through birth-right, or through hard work? All very controversial questions that will trigger sentiment in a lot of people. It is indeed the same sentiment that is responsible for much of the political flavour in the past years, and there’s no reason to believe why it won’t be going forward either. On the other hand, times are changing at the top and in successful people in their empathy and outlooks on the world. There are some strong and positive role models who are following a more open manner of leadership with humility, as we can see from some of the UK’s royal family.

Beauty of Humility

The problem with powerful positions is that they fuel the entitlement complex. Hard work whilst also an essential ingredient in building substance, can also give rise to entitlement. It is unfortunate that those ingredients required for greatness can also so easily give rise to this damaging complex. How this entitlement-complex is managed is down to character. If a person is humble and empathetic by nature then they will not like the entitlement-complex, and will continue to be humble even in external success. However, if a person starts to believe their own hype, then it can easily give rise to the entitlement-complex and more so as they become more successful externally. The internal vs external success factors are therefore different. There is a story that Alexander the Great appointed an advisor who would whisper to him constantly throughout the day “You are Mortal. You are just a Man. You are Mortal. You are just a Man.” This was to help Alexander the Great manage his entitlement-complex. Unfortunately most people aspiring to be great don’t want this whisper, however if we live in reality then the whisper will be most welcome. The reality is that if we don’t play back this whisper, then the laws of nature will. In a world of so many differences, the greatest undisputed commonality is that of our human mortality. Therefore, instead of focusing on our greatness as a goal for ourselves, we can indeed pursue greatness for the betterment of others, in a spirit of giving whilst knowing the reality that our existence in this world is far more futile than we care to accept. This is indeed why children are the most inspiring people in terms of internal attitude; their absorption in the moment rather than the result of greatness for themselves, is commonly the focus. Before schooling etc, this is their natural mindset. To pursue results in a spirit of living in the moment is far more conducive to a healthy mental state that contributes positively to society and those around us, than to continually hanker for that which we do not have or own.  

Humility is therefore the most beautiful jewel in any Throne of Success.

Substance vs Peripherals

Recently we went to watch a theatrical production called the Monkey King, a story from China based on a fairy monkey who gains immense powers, and tussles with using them for the right causes vs aggrandisement. Going through lessons of correct use and misuse of power, the fairy monkey eventually wins many supporters, and also through trial and tribulation develops an attitude of bravery and simultaneous humility. He therefore rightly becomes a celebrated character and hero. In the production as you can imagine, there was a lot of jumping and bouncing, and coordination between the various actors; from jumping on trampolines in a synchronized manner between four or five people, to in some parts more than 10 people coordinating beautiful dances. The concept of control and coordination are typically part of any successful execution. Anything from medical procedures, to military coordination, to building work; everything hinges on some degree of command and control. The Monkey King showed the importance of competence in his determination to obtain the treasures, but also the importance of character in ensuring proper treatment and sensitivity to others around him. We may have experienced that leadership and even life without meaning or purpose doesn’t lead to satisfaction at a deep level. It may lead to superficial satisfaction and impacts, but lacks depth and longevity. There are so many paths one can take. Will Smith recently said he read the Bhagavad Gita, and how amazed he was with it. Should our choices of what to believe hinge on such endorsements? If they do, then I would hope there is accompanying good reason. Unfortunately, too often there isn’t – it’s more sentiment and factors on what we refer to in this blog as the "periphery". The way we view things is critical. How should we view, or conceptualise our path, our mental state and finally our actions? The issue with many "religious" paths for people is often the human factor. Indeed many have tried to re-brand religion as "spirituality" to essentially de-couple the substance from the politics. There have been countless stories of treatment of children in Churches, people in positions of influence being imprisoned for activities, indeed with even President Obama abandoning Chicago’s Trinity United Church of Christ after a string of controversies. We argue here that one should logically and rationally consider the "substance" as well as the "periphery" of one’s path in life.

Separate the Two

After practicing martial arts in a few disciplines and in various martial arts in different contexts, with different teachers; over time it has become easy to separate the substance from the people, who may form the periphery. I have met some bad people, and I have met good people. I have met those who are incredible with technique, but disastrous in character, and vice versa. Ultimately, the substance which consists of the practice and the techniques, is separate from the people involved. If we have a terrible boss, we will likely create an association between our work and the boss, and we will hate both. This is because we are human and can be more sentimental than we are rational. If we have never trained martial arts and in our first attempt we experience someone who treats us in a rough way and injures us, it is likely we will carry that association for a long time. Given it is a first try for these people, who is to blame them? I know people who have had extremely serious injuries early in their martial arts careers and continued. And conversely have also seen the opposite where people have quit after a first attempt or few tries. The difference can come down to how much the person wants to learn AND how easily they are able to separate the substance and the peripherals. If we are not able to do this, we will always limit our experiences to the quality of people we are around; which we are not able to guarantee at all. If a beggar on the street offers me an authentic Rolex watch on the street whilst am on a busy lunch time hustle to get to the shops, it is still very unlikely I will stop, give attention and take the watch. Because we are programmed to associate things together based on repeated experiences to the extent that we may miss the substance due to the peripherals. The only means of separating the substance from the peripherals - is to be conscious, to be aware and rational in our choices concerned with our journey and path.

Be Conscious

The nature of this tendency to attribute the quality of our experiences with the peripherals comes from lack of objectivity. If we are objective in the extent to which we apply our judgments about things or people, this will help us to be objective about the reality, thereby leading to a more accurate view of the world and understanding who we are in relation to it. What do we believe in, and why do we believe in it? What do we gain from it? What are the fixed aspects, and what is variable? What do those variables depend on? Assessing these kinds of things is to be aware. Intuition is a huge topic; it comes even when we don’t want it to - sometimes when we most don’t want it to.  What is the source of intuition? Intuition is a complex mesh of feelings, experiences, sentiment, and sometimes also a sixth sense. It is defined as "the ability to understand something immediately without the need for conscious reasoning". This indeed sounds dangerous, and sure it can be, but sometimes it can be spot on, because it is immediately in tune with who we are. By all means we can let intuition play a role in our beliefs since our beliefs need to be close to our heart and intuition can come from the heart. But there must be rational, logical thinking that also is applied to this. If I feel intuitively that I like to break peoples cars, and that becomes my life goal; it is not in line with good cultural norms with a rational justification. The alignment of intuition and rationale are therefore essential in understanding and discovering our beliefs over time. One quality  of "religious cults" is that they tend to discard rational thinking on the basis of sentiment and order. If my teacher taught me something happened 50 years ago because “that’s what it says in the book”, and 25 years later I am explaining to people “this happened 50 years ago”, then I am objectively 25 years off. A humble and open mind understanding our shortcomings, a desire to discover the truth and it's application in our lives in a thoughtful way lay the foundations of a journey of fulfillment.

A more conscientious sense of spirituality means that we are balanced between objectivity and intuition  in the understanding the effects of applying and refining techniques, means and practices of thought processes in our own lives whatever they might be; and not in being purely ears for the movement of others.