Emotional Intelligence: All about the Person

I keep the person. I forget everything about football, and I keep the person. That’s what Jose Mourinho, arguably one of the most successful football coaches to have moved across clubs and sustained success said regarding his experience learning from Sir Bobby Robson, one of the legends in the world of football and football coaching. Both the impersonal and personal aspects of God are true, but I just love Him. This is what Bhishmadeva, the old and wise guardian of the Kuru dynasty replied to King Yuddhistira when asked which is true of the impersonal and personal aspects of God. This basic principle, is the very foundation of what has been hailed the 21^st century leadership quality; Emotional Intelligence (EI). Above and beyond everything else, we are people and will remain people. We will be shocked to see how important this factor is in our dealings and those around us. It is critical we understand this if our success is really to be pervasive and bring great people along the way.

What did you think of the game?

When I first started working, I was working on a project whose goal was to meet critical regulatory deadlines in the aftermath of the Enron crisis, the Programme Director was an exceptionally busy and in-demand individual; everyone wanted to get some of his time, and at any opportunity they would try their best to do it. His Secretary was therefore extremely selective over who gets into his diary, and had broken his time into 10 minute slots. I was very new and junior in the team, and was intrigued to see the dynamics and how they were at play. Being fresh out of University, I would follow the football very eagerly every weekend, and just wanted to find someone I could exchange thoughts on about it. I happened to find out the Programme Director was an extremely enthusiastic supporter of the same football team as me. When he found out I supported the team also, he came over to my desk. Those around me, who were far more senior than I was, were curious as to why the Programme Director was coming to my desk, when I had 5 people in my reporting line to him. He enthusiastically asked me if it was true that I support the particular football team. I said yes. He then started talking about the result on the weekend, the way the team played, the team selection, where he has a seat at the ground, what his outlook was on the season, transfer speculation, and many other related things. For about 30 minutes we spoke. His Secretary came over, and politely asked if she could interrupt us, and said he had a meeting now. He said, Tell them I will be 15 minutes late. We continued to speak. He then said, We’ll catch up tomorrow morning ok? The people around couldn’t believe it; some of them even came afterwards and asked me what we always talk about. They had very legitimate “formal” reasons to meet with him, and just needed five minutes to get a decision, or escalate something of importance, and they had meeting slots allocated far later in the week than my impromptu “30 minutes football slot” with him, and am sure what totaled to many hours in the weeks that ensued. The Programme Director, whilst able to deal with the formal side of the role very competently, gained a different kind of value from the personal interaction, which had the power o supersede the formal dealings.

Work hard, play harder

To work hard, and play hard is a phrase connected with the workplace. If people had a choice whether to work harder or play harder, which would they choose? A senior ranking officer in the business was discussing business relocation packages and in particular, locations. After exploring a number of options, it was clear that the country of choice was one which made for the nicest personal experience, not necessarily the most growth opportunity purely from an economic perspective. People, no matter how senior, want personal experiences. They of course are interested, and extremely competent in the formal aspects of the role, but often times, especially as one becomes more senior, it comes down to the quality of personal experiences. Recently, it was the appearance anniversary of Lord Krishna, known in the Vedic teachings as the Supreme Lord. The speaker in the Temple during the festivities was explaining that the Lord has two purposes in His descent. In the ‘formal’ context, the Lord cites two reasons for His descent to Earth; i) to protect the pious, and to ii) annihilate those who cause harm to the pious. Interestingly, the speaker went on say that these are just the formal reasons cited, but that actually, the Lord has personal reasons to descend also. The personal reasons are quite simple; to share enjoyable experiences with those who are dear to Him.

It is interesting how once a person becomes very senior in the corporate world, their accepting arduous or austere locations becomes much more rare, but they become more inclined to places where the quality of life, of personal experiences, be they with family or friends or both, are a much higher priority. We are people, who seek experiences, and will continue to be so. Being continually conscious of this, can lead to powerful interactions that leave impressions on peoples' minds, and these impressions are some of the most important keys to success in any field.