The Relationship Factor

Whilst technical ability is critical to excellence and success, if we look around, most people can reach a certain level of technical expertise, and it then often comes down to personal factors, or relationship that determine success. The strength and nature of relationship one has with those around, below and above them certainly has a bearing on success in the workplace. We will be better equipped to succeed in this field if we understand why the personal factor is important, and how we should manage it in a deep way that addresses it from its roots rather than symptomatically when we are forced to react.

Ask John what he thinks

I developed a strong working relationship with the person leading a particular transaction. I reported to him on a particular technical matter that he had mentioned was key to the deal. I was seeking his views on the relevance, and leveragability of this piece of analysis. At the very sound of the topic, without hesitation, he referred me to the person who was leading that area. The area was intimately interwoven with the deal success, and required a person very close to it to be able to see if a particular piece of analysis was relevant. After thinking about the situation some more, I realized that the individual looking after the area, would often help the leader on weekends taking care of DIY, and join in on social occasions, etc. The leader had an exceptional relationship with this individual, which was built on personal trust.  The certainty and assurance that he referred me to him with was exceptional. It was clear that the success of my analysis would be entirely down to the areas owners view, which would entirely inform the leaders view, and in turn, determine my success. When leaders find people they can trust, they often become entirely dependent on these individuals, and therefore these individuals become more pivotal to our success as those above them. This may appear bewildering, but once again follows a simple logic when the reasons are broken down.

Personal factor always comes through

What is it about the ‘relationship’ factor that makes it so important? Above and beyond functional, objective ‘operational units’ if you like, which are part of the many cogs in the corporate world, we are human beings; we are personal, we are not entirely robotic all of the time. Even the most robotic of people, will have a less robotic side at home with their family and children for example. This personal factor is so interconnected with who we are, it is what we essentially live for, that it can seldom be completely switched off. Therefore, whilst people try to remain objective in the workplace, the personal factor, in situations pumped with stress, pressure and volatility, will inevitably come into play in various ways. On one hand, we should try to build positive relationships through being genuine well-wishers for others, whist protecting ourselves from negative behaviours where these may exist as the often do. On the other hand, we should be very conscious of the influence of relationship in our own paths as these can often be very strong, and sometimes not necessarily objectives- this situation is called politics; where personal gain outweighs objectivity. Being conscious of these two dynamics will help us as we aim to progress both in technical and personal domains.

Power of relationship

The power of relationship can often outweight all other factors; which may seem illogical or impossible at times. We can take the example of the great King Ambrisha, of ancient India. King Ambrisha was a great devotee of the Lord, who never viewed himself as anything but an instrument of the Lord in giving protection to his people and helping them progress. The great sage Durvasa, an incarnation of Lord Shiva, once came to the King’s palace, and somehow uttered some offensive words to King Ambrisha speaking of his absorption in material activities. The King, being humble, did not take any offense at all, however, the Lord took offence at the untrue criticism of His devotee. The sage Durvasa was chased by the Lord’s powerful weapon, the Sudarshana disc. In fear, Durvasa muni tried to take shelter of many powerful demigods begging their protection, however, none were powerful enough to provide such protection. Finally Durvasa Muni came to the Supreme Lord, and begged His protection. Although He is unlimitedly powerful, the Lord explained that even He is actually completely helpless to protect him, and that unless he receives the forgiveness of King Ambrisha, he could not be protected by any force in the Universe. King Ambrisha had a powerful and deep relationship with the Lord. Durvasa muni humbly begged forgiveness, and of course, King Ambrisha who was not even offended, excused him of anything that may have been caused, and the situation was resolved.

Relationships are the essence of our being; they are essentially what we work and live for. If the dynamic of relationship has played a part in such monumental historical events, what to speak of in our dynamics today; of course they feature, and always will. Therefore, whilst we may be consumed becoming technically expert, and managing workloads efficiently, it is critical to success, that the dynamic of relationship is deeply understood and factored in to all our decisions.