The Good, The Bad & the Ugly: How Our Motivation Matters

The role of intent

What is the difference between murder and man-slaughter? Intent. Only intent. How we prove intent is one of the biggest topics in court and leads to hundreds of thousands of man/hours worth of work and millions of dollars worth of legal fees. I recall watching the live OJ Simpson trial when he was accused of double murder of his then wife Nicole Brown Simpson, and waiter Ron Goldman. The OJ Simpson documentary OJ: Made In America’ Oscar-Winning Documentary shows how there are often times multiple external facts, multiple actors in the situation, but what the concern is around, is the one single motivation.  

 

We choose our principles, often very early in life

Being asked about corporate values earlier this week, and specifically which ones stood out most and mattered most, it’s not a topic many people spend much time dwelling on earlier in their careers especially, and understandably so since there are many other motivations that may take priority i.e. reward, technical content, nature of work, etc. In terms of values; each individual will have their own values, since almost birth and ways of behaving and operating. If these coincide or overlap with corporate values, it’s just a happy coincidence, but it’s not easy to one day dream up a set of values and force people to change to imbibe these; whatever the company or context may be.

 

Certain "values" are needed for any type of success; these aren't a big deal

The response to which values are most important, can only partially be answered. There are values that are secondary, and values that are primary. Primary values are the most important; do you really care about others? Do you want what is best for others? Are you thinking selfishly or selflessly? Secondary values are things like “teaming”, “thinking innovatively” etc. These, even people who don’t have good motivations, can do. Hitler teamed, Hitler thought innovatively. Never believe that seeing certain values implies a good deeper motive. Secondary values aren’t something to be so proud of, in isolation; they can be calculatingly attained, for manipulative and ulterior purposes. To be "successful", such values are used in execution 9 times out of 10. There can be people who externally may not appear successful, but they have the core values right; this is what matters in the grand scheme, and not how much of a balance a person may have notched up. It's easy to see when this is the case; the emphasis will be on how we can all achieve our potential in our own ways according to our own nature and abilities, rather than how I can be successful at the expense of others.

 

I’ve been fortunate to have had leaders and mentors in various fields, who have set wonderful examples with their values, and also those who really haven’t. As time goes by, and we define what governs the way we choose to operate and the type of people we prefer to surround ourselves with in order to grow, it’s always nice to compare and contrast approaches, and really understand what we value and aspire to imbibe.

 

Whatever our situation, greatness is having a simple heart. Radhanath Swami

 

 

Fame, Leadership & Incentives: giving the dog a bone

When back in the UK, I had time to people-watch more than usual. Once when I was in a park, I was watching a dog owner with a short piece of bark, waving it in the air, pretending to throw it. The dog jumped up in harmony with the direction of the bark, trying to do its best to anticipate the direction it was being thrown in. The dog was swaying majestically, sometimes mid-air, its eyes fixed on the bark. When the bark was thrown, the dog at full pace, athletically built, ran, caught the bark, and bought it back to its owner. In the same park, I later went to feed the pigeons, and ducks. From being on one side of the pond, or perched on one tree, they would selectively gravitate towards where the food was being distributed. After they had enough, they stopped moving in that direction, and continued their activities.

 

At the airport, we often see a section of shelves full of books on business, economics and self-development etc; mega-trends for even the next 20, 30, 40 years sometimes. People are often hungrily looking for ways to fulfil their incentives. Whether this is to become President of a country, or in the form of money. The swaying of the dog, is called understanding the market, the running is called execution. The recent corporate scandals, continue to amaze many. However, even as mature as adults seem, their behaviours are extremely comparable, often times the same, as animals and children; although manifested in a slightly different way. Yet humans have a big superiority complex, and tend to put ourselves at the front of the queue in terms of what the Earth provides for example.

Recently when teaching children, I’ve found it important to recognise when others are ready to lead. This is important on many accounts; including for growth and encouragement of the individual; and helping pass knowledge. Sometimes we see when people are handed responsibility, the ego kicks in quickly, and their lack of ability to maintain a balanced and selfless consciousness, results in various forms of abuse of power. If leaders incentivise shows of power and fame over and above valuing human values such as humility, truthfulness and compassion; we will have a fast growing momentum going in the wrong and a very dangerous direction. In such scenario, there may be much success also, but it will tend to come at a steep price either now or in the future. It is better to sacrifice such success if there is little confidence in the current values, and ensure that fundamental values are secured and maintained. Then success will come with meaning and depth, attractiveness, inclusion, substance, and longevity. Jumping up and down at incentives that are flashed at us on a daily basis, without ensuring human values are first and foremost prioritised, doesn’t show a trajectory to fulfilling the potential and values that human minds and brains have been designed for.

“Wasting time is one thing, but wasting your life is another thing.”

His Grace Chaitanya Charan Das

 

 

Irony of the Island

“Leave, leave, leave” is what I heard at the train station this morning overhearing a conversation of a few people on their way to work. How to make a decision which is right not only for the now, but for generations to come? What will safeguard our own, and also broader interests of the world. As Boris Johnson put it, this is our ‘once in a lifetime opportunity’ to put our future in our own hands. In whose hands? There is clearly no silver bullet when it comes to governing a country. If the UK leaves the EU, the business world is already warning of tip over into a ‘technical recession’. Whether this is founded or not is under debate, and how it would automatically cause a recession is also to be seen. On the economic front, whether businesses and the nation would be able to agree multiple bilateral trade terms with foreign counterparts as easily, is the primary determinant. The ‘EU Passport’ which the UK holds and now many UK branches of banks use as the basis of having a European HQ in London, may or may not be available as easily. Either way, work would need to be done on the part of businesses to plan for this should the UK leave; and arguably should have been researched to the full extent in order to give the voters a definitive view on impact and not a speculative one. It isn’t something they want to do for understandable reasons; capital is low, another feasibility analysis which doesn’t lead to profits, may not be so appealing. The claims that the sterling will drop by 15-30% in value if we leave, again is an estimate; the basis for which is yet to be made clear. Savings made from less regulation, and less payments to fund other parts of the EU have been cited by the leave camp also. The UK has coped relatively well with terrorism given threats vs incidents, therefore anything that may affect the way we are kept secure, scares the average person and understandably so. Are there any ‘un-mitigatable’ security threats arising from leaving? The UK’s membership of NATO and the UN secure a baseline of involvement and intelligence, and agencies would have to ensure continuity of the current measures in order to mitigate. Is this impossible? Probably not. Immigration is the largest topic for many voters, and its impact on social security, healthcare and so on has been large of late. It’s clear given the current economic condition, various kinds of inefficiencies in public services, that large numbers of the types of migration we have experienced are difficult to justify.

 

Economics v Politics

 The EU has its roots in the European Coal and Steel Community (ECSC), and then the European Economic Area (EEA) in the 1950s. Before we knew it, human rights, justice, and freedom think-tanks on a supranational level were in place, and regulations ratified in those domains. There are almost ½ a million EU bureaucrats employed. Essentially no aspect of a country is entirely managed out of Brussels, and highly likely never will be. Nor do they go out on peace missions like NATO or the UN. What have these ½ million people been doing? Facilitating the trade, which they say the EU is responsible for? Trade between nations has been happening perfectly well for millennia. Human desire for control is so strong that where there is avenue for it, it will generally be taken. Children, when in an active state of mind, if they have a toy rattled, they may likely try to clasp it with their hands. If you move the toy they may try to follow your hands again, until ultimately you hand over the toy. Once the child has the toy, they may start waving it around, look at it and analyse it, or just start playing with it. For a kid to just sit there and let the toy be, may not be so normal. The reality as history often has shown is that people prefer personal legacy over pragmatism. The mentality that if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, often doesn’t prevail, and people want to do things to leave behind their own legacy can also come into play.

 

 

Responsibility

In a team sport such as football, a loss is often difficult to attribute to an individual. Therefore exacting lessons may be more challenging. The smaller the team, the easier it is to identify where the shortcomings were, and with an individual sport, it is yet easier to identify individual actions which led to defeat. Being part of the EU and having directives driven by a central body, has given the avenue to place blame and say certain rules are out of the UK’s hands due to majority voting. Leaving the EU would firmly place responsibility back to the UK government. Making decisions on issues such as immigration may be easier. Regulating a competitive financial market, and controlling it may be easier. Realistically, the world is still suffering from the financial crisis that dates back before 2008. An economy where the only indicator on the rise is house prices, and everything else going down, is not promising, nor easy to manage. The number of double edged swords increase in such a situation, and it is unfortunately something symptomatic of irresponsible behaviour that creates a cyclical effect. Taking responsibility would mean to be extremely bold, weed out the root causes, not be afraid to address them, and uncompromisingly progress towards eliminating them and replacing them with sustainable processes that don’t give rise to high volatility cycles as we have seen, in a way that is entirely transparent.

 

Truth

 The issue with doing the above is that politicians are often more concerned with their own beliefs, success, and well-being rather than the objective, collective good. I recently came across a note between a spiritual teacher and his students where the teacher was outlining what was important to him. He said “truth.” There are many aspects of ‘the truth’. Truth means what is reality in terms of our position or situation, our strengths, and our weaknesses. There are a few obstacles that result in a blurring of the truth. These are i) people’s self driven agendas, ii) the willingness to go to great lengths to secure these. We have seen many campaigns where statistics have been selected, moulded and presented to back up particular bias points of view on either side of the campaign. Where both parties have such strong personal motivations, they will not care for the audience and what situation they are put in by having contradictory sets of information put in front of them. When own agendas are on the line, the primary concern is the motivations of the politicians, and not those who they are supposed to protect and govern. Bhishmadeva, the great ancient warrior said in his treaties on leadership that a King should know his subjects like a mother knows a child. There is supposed to be care for the children. In this presentation of data which is incorrect, contradictory, and just serving agendas, care is the last thing on their minds. At any stage, it is never too late to salvage something. However, the first step to turning a situation around is to take stock of the truth. Telling one lie, requires more lies. If the truth is then systemically lost, it becomes very difficult, and sometimes even undesirable for those benefitting, to disclose it. We hope that voters will be able to decipher what is being presented, and diligently weigh this up in order to make an informed decision free from bias views.

Misdirected Admiration

Wow

The things that make a person say ‘wow’ reveal a lot about a person. When job hunting, people often recommend you ‘find out what they are looking for’. If you align yourself with their needs, then you’re more likely to be successful. When I would go to my friends and neighbours apartment in the evening straight after training, where they have two little girls, the things on my mind would typically be how I could have avoided a submission during training, how I could have submitted someone, or what technique our Sensei showed us. With that in mind, I would start to show them the move in a way they may be able to do it, and present it in the most ‘fun’ way I could. When the penny-dropping moment of what the escape or submission looks like happens, I expected a reaction from them as you would get from most people who can appreciate the importance of a submission or an escape. Nothing. No reaction. They watched and were just disappointed if anything. They would sometimes turn their back and continue watching their anime or film. I’d have a drink and relax or something while they did that, by which time the girls want to play again. They would indicate what they wanted to play, and I would just have an open mind to do whatever they wanted. It would mainly involve lifting them high in the air and going round and round in circles, which was fun. This taught me a lot about the girls, and what they like, and also what they are perhaps less interested in. As people grow up, they become more so-called ‘sophisticated’ but actually the instincts are the same as a child, or even an animal. The things that they are interested in, indicate a lot about them. The things they are not interested in, also indicate a lot about them.

 

Mr Silva 

I recently bumped into famous UFC fighter Anderson Silva in a trainer store in London. As I walked in, I saw two guys in the corner, and they had a South American appearance. One of them had a ‘famous’ face, I was sure I had seen him before. The other was quite big, had a few cuts on his brow, and looked like he was ‘with’ the other guy. I then looked again, and thought this might be Anderson Silva! Since I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, I really needed a definitive answer on whether it was true. My gut instinct was to ask him, are you Anderson Silva?! But then I thought I would feel really silly if he said “No”. I looked at the guy with him and mimed, “Is that Anderson Silva?!” He nodded and smiled, but gestured to keep it low as they didn’t want much attention. That was kind of like his permission to talk to him. So I greeted Anderson Silva, shook his hand. He was very warm in greeting. I said, I was going to go see your fight tomorrow, but have a wedding so can’t make it unfortunately, but good luck. He said thank you and asked where am from. I said I just moved back from Hong Kong. I introduced my wife, and he was very warm to her also. We then has a very brief chat about where am training jiu jitsu in the UK, and he said ‘God bless you and have a great day’. We then continued shopping in the store. I said to my wife, do you realise who that was?! She said, I’ve seen him somewhere but not sure. I said Anderson Silva!! One of the greatest fighters in the UFC ever. She was also then stunned albeit not as much as I was. I said, I think I need to sit down and breathe properly for a little while. Anderson Silva, from the interaction I had, was a gentle and friendly, and naturally smiling guy. Maybe he isn’t like that in real, maybe he is. I don’t know, because I don’t know him. But I went kind of crazy when I saw him. Maybe many people would do the same or similar if they met someone they admired in some way. I went crazy because he was famous, not because I know him as an individual. It so happened that he was nice, but do we really think about how good a person it is that we admire? Or are we more dazzled by their fame?  

The Money Delusion

Marketing, is all about using what appeals to people. Most people ‘wow’ when they see a Lamborghini. Most people ‘wow’ when they see some incredible football skills. People who ‘wow’ at these things, may find it hard to understand why people may not find those thing interesting. The way that money is currently prioritised, and has been for a long time, may also have significant flaws. Money is never owned, it is issued by someone, and then borrowed by someone else. Money is always changing hands. What use is stagnant money to a person who wants to use it to enjoy their life? It has to be used, and for that it needs to change hands. Not a single person comes out of a womb with wads of cash. It is temporarily ‘associated’ with you. So from that we should be able to infer that it isn’t inherently yours, and can also leave you in the way it left someone else. So why the pride? It’s so irrational, but yet billions of people are trying their best to acquire endless amounts of it. Why? Because it is rightly or wrongly associated with ‘value’. Some of the deepest, nicest smiles I ever got from people I didn’t even know, were from people who didn’t have much money. Having recently moved from Hong Kong to London after four years, it is interesting hearing insights from people on the economy and personal finances. They said that people in Hong Kong were very materialistic etc. To be honest, I didn’t see that since I chose who I associated with. I didn’t understand the local language so didn’t understand the topics of conversation, and therefore just associated and heard what I chose to hear. In the UK I can understand everything, and the focus that is given by many to endeavour extremely hard to make money in many innovative ways, and that becomes the principle goal of many peoples lives. A person in a relationship where his or her partner is about to leave them, and it’s not something they want to happen, puts them into a lot of anxiety. This anxiety can stop one from even conducting normal activities and having normal interactions with people. Whereas a person who is very secure in their relationship, they don’t have this fear and can go about other interactions properly as a result. Similarly, the person who is ‘borrowing’ a lot of money, or having this ‘temporary time with it’, thinking that they own it, of course they will feel anxiety in the same way a person who feels their partner will leave them, would. And they can’t even have normal interactions; they may get superiority complexes, and may feel that wearing certain clothes, or driving certain cars isn’t ok.

 

Admiration

Is it only money we admire? According to the Vedic teachings, there are 6 key attributes of Krishna, which we all have to some extent, just not to the full extent, and yes just like the money, they don’t actually belong to us, we just like to think they do. Other things that we admire may be spin-offs from these attributes. These attributes are i) Strength, ii) Fame, iii) Wealth, iv) Beauty, v) Knowledge, and vi) Renunciation. The first 5 are quite self explanatory, but what is renunciation, and how is it attractive? If a person has the ability to walk away, it is an attractive quality. A sense of detachment or aloofness is attractive. If someone is so madly affected by something mentally for example, it isn’t pleasant for them, nor is it to see. Being temporary possessors of these 6 attributes, pride forms. It is just like a spoilt son who has inherited so much, and feels he can treat people badly since he has so much. It isn’t his, but feels he is so great. Even if one works very hard for money, it is still not theirs, it is given by someone, or by others. So why the pride?

 

This can be applied in all areas in life and work. What pulls us to people? Is it their attributes like wealth, fame, beauty, etc, or is it their values, who they are? Not even what they have done, but who they are. That is deeper. The saying that form is temporary, and class is permanent, goes a long way. A persons form varies based on so many factors, but their character is the factor worthy of admiration, respect. If there is no character, then there should be no respect. If there is a real understanding of who we are, that we only temporarily posses things, we don’t really own them, then character will be respected over things and so-called achievements. Then society becomes more considerate of others and the environment we live in; which is the only way there can be peace.

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.

Abraham Lincoln.  

Active danger?

Recently I was exploring the functionality available on my iPhone, and discovered the Heart Rate app. Before sleeping, my heart rate was consistently in the late 50’s or early 60’s. I then went to Thailand, and due to the change in climate from around 15 degrees celsius to 30, and the intensity of training 2-3 times a day for a few days outdoors in the heat without a brief patch to climatise, I managed to get dehydration through a combination of inadequate water intake, combined with the drastic increase in training frequency and intensity. It was impulsive because I was in Thailand and I had the facility and daily routine that could afford it. It wasn’t planned or well thought out. I got into work on return from Thailand feeling extremely tired, and due to a bug going around, I managed to add to my fatigue and dehydration, with flu. I went straight to the doctors in the afternoon, and was forced to take the afternoon off with severe fever and a doctors note to take time off work after that too. Before I knew it I was in bed for half a day and when out of boredom I checked my heart rate, it was consistently in the 90s. My body was actively doing something even though I was doing nothing but lying in bed. It was active as it was in trouble.

A year or so ago, I needed the help of a chiropractor in recovering from an injury, and due to his passion about what he practised, he would explain the concepts and detail of his process of diagnosis, aswell as explaining how his tools worked. I would visit him roughly once a fortnight, and he would ask about any changes in how it felt to check for improvements or if there is stagnation in the evolution of the injury. He explained that as long as the injury is changing i.e. if pain is felt in another closely area rather than the original affected area, then there is likely to be progress as it shows the body recognises the need to rehabilitate and cure, and is actively working on it. He then introduced an interesting tool. This tool was a handheld device that he would use to scan the area, and give a reading of the voltage. The reading represented how ‘active’ the cells in area were. He explained, if someone has cancer, the concerned part of the body is inactive as the body for some reason cannot be active when and where it needs to be active, this leads to the inability to recover. Low readings in afflicted areas are therefore not good. The area I had the injuries had a higher voltage than the equivalent part of the body on the opposite side. This was good, and showed the body had recognised the need to use more energy to enable change and healing in that area. The reading was high in areas that needed to recover. The areas with issues, had high levels of activity. The other areas which were not injured had low readings and were less active.

In the book entitled ‘How the Mighty Fall’ by Jim Collins, he refers to the various stages of corporate demise, beginning with pride and overconfidence leading to a corporate or individual not changing, out of arrogance. The next stages were the competition taking over. Then position would begin to demise. When demise is visible, the arrogant company or individual panics and begins to change, in some cases making sweeping changes. The changes are not necessarily based on intelligent decisions, but sometimes just attempts to salvage something. The example of Hewlett Packard was cited, when they were at a stage where competition was taking greater market share, and a new CEO was then hired, who made sweeping changes, which led to no improvement, in fact things got worse for the company. The level of activity increased when there was trouble. When trying to recover, the company, not the body in this instance, increased activity.

When I started training jiu jitsu, in my first few weeks, I would often come in with other beginners. Sometimes these were amateur or semi-professional fighters in other disciplines such as boxing. They had big, and/or athletic body frames, were aggressive sometimes in approach. They would be up against small guys who were very welcoming, warm, and gentle in nature. When these rough boxers would be paired up with the smaller, more experienced guys, I would worry for the smaller, more experienced guys in the dojo since the level of activity and desire to win from the beginners was so much, and based on my limited understanding, this could end badly for the small guys. So I watched as the beginner requested to spar with the small guy . He just sat there with very little aggression, smiling. The boxer prepared himself and charged into him. The small guy was really doing very little, wasn’t moving much at all, almost no activity except a few hand movements to block the quite crazy attacks of the beginner. After a few minutes at most, the beginner was tapping. The inactivity of the experienced guy was due to his understanding of what is really dangerous and what isn’t. This gave him grounding and confidence to be able to smile and be gentle. I was intrigued by the way dedication to learning the proper techniques and their application would succeed over power and strength. It wasn’t a one off, this would work every time.

Questioning the purpose of our actions, the purity of our motives, are therefore all very important whether this is at work, in sport, or our social and family lives.  

“There are four classes of men; i) lazy intelligent, ii) busy intelligent, iii) lazy fool and iv) busy fool. So first-class man is lazy intelligent. Just like you'll see the high-court judges. They're very lazy and most intelligent. That is first-class man. They are doing everything very soberly. And the next class: busy intelligent. Intelligence should be used very soberly. And the third class: lazy fool, lazy, at the same time, fool. And the fourth class: busy fool. Busy fool is very dangerous. So all these people, they're busy. Even in this country, everywhere, all over the world, not this country or that country.”

Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada

Mind the step

 I recently had a lunch appointment with a friend in Central. It was a nice rooftop restaurant, well finished and a classy design. Sometimes with these designs, there are things that aesthetically don’t work so well practically. As we walked in, the lady seating us said, please watch out there is a step there. It was a tiny step, but given the amount of attention she gave it, we were of course careful to step over it. How many times have you slightly buckled on the street, only to turn around and you can barely see what it was that tripped you up? Probably countless times. Awareness, or lack of awareness can mean the difference between success and failure.

Divide & Unify

If you know what to expect, then when it comes, you’re ready for it. Or at least as ready as you will ever be. There was an interesting quote I came across recently on pain. It said that pain can be overcome by awareness that pain exists. We’ve recently been practicing yoga, loosely as part of our Jiu Jitsu curriculum. Interestingly, initially, the injuries you have in your body, you can feel even more. Yoga brings about awareness. It gives one time to study everything from posture to thoughts. More often than not, we are doing things at a pace that doesn’t enable any stopping and thinking. Yoga aims to break this cycle; perhaps this is one of the reasons why it’s so successful as a promotion today also. Another reason for yoga’s success I feel, is that it does away with designations, with labels, with pigeon-holing. It focusses on commonality. Oh we are from the same apartment, the same company, the same country, the same continent, the same religion, the same race; but we all breathe, we all exist. I feel this with martial arts for sure, in a very nice way there is nice comradery between team mates, and with people training in other gyms etc also. Things which remove boundaries are extremely unifying, and in line with our inherent nature of being in harmony with each other. Creating divisions is done by the lower part of us. Building closeness and unity is done by the higher part of us. Divisions are created by selfishness, by greed. Unification is created by selflessness, by sacrifice.

Nowhere to hide

Unification relies on respect. Many people, and increasingly so, disagree with hierarchy. I’ve had many conversations with people saying the bad thing with Asia is that there is too much hierarchy, whereas the West, the culture tends to be less hierarchical. I certainly don’t disagree with the very negative effects of abused hierarchy, but there is a reality; hierarchy is natural, and the success of it in creating a nice environment, depends on how it’s used. The animal kingdom also has a hierarchy. One just has to watch a few documentaries about the wild to realise this. It is the way nature organizes itself. Why should it be any different in the human species? Indeed in the most supposedly democratic of places in the world, there is still great imperfection in the way things are governed. Recently, having spent more time around Jiu Jitsu practitioners, the lessons have been immense. There is a clear dojo etiquette, and there is a system of belts to reflect one’s technical ability. I don’t think I’ve seen anything that is as meritocratic in the various systems I’ve seen in my life. Why do I think that? Because people are tested, day in, day out. In a jiu Jitsu dojo, there are very few places to hide. And if you hide for some time, it won’t be for long. You cannot achieve your position and then say, am going to sit on my throne now I’ve achieved it. You will be tested, over and over, and indeed the reason for your black belt will be that you have earned it. The etiquette is there in our dojo where you shake the hands of all of the senior belts when you enter. It is a traditional etiquette, and something quite nice when compared with the less traditional attitude of ‘do what you want’. When we become aware of ourselves, of others, in an environment that upholds collectively the right values, then naturally respect will emerge and continue.

“Whether you are able to use the things your teacher has taught you, or not, a teacher is always to be respected.” Dronacharya to Karna, Mahabharata

Dropping the Knife

 One of my favourite scenes from Lord of the Rings, is where Gandalf requests that he enter Theoden's Hall with his staff. It was actually a powerful, magical staff, but when questioned to hand over his staff, he asked the guard, 'You wouldn't part an old man with his walking stick?' In this way, he worked way into the hall, with an unknown advantage. He happened to be a force for good, however we have seen when people use similar concepts to smuggle weapons of terror for example, into public spaces, creating an unfair advantage, and killing civilians. What is the deal with this situation? If you asked a terrorist to have a 'fair fight' they may walk away, and try something else another time. In a similar way, using high technology weapons to wipe out thousands of civilians, there is an unfair advantage at play. Let's break down the dynamics of what we call 'escalation' and see how we can avoid it where possible in simpler interactions.

The Adult Playground

Let's take a scenario where there are ten people on an island. There is one rule - only the last person standing will be allowed to live. If the island consisted of only grass fields, then one would assume that the one who has the best ability to kill the others using their body alone in fighting, would win. They would simply eat and train, and learn to fight properly, and the strongest would survive. Now, imagine in this situation, we introduce some simple crops, and then introduce a person who sells knives. One person sells the crops and buys a knife. What can the others do to survive? It is in the knife owners interest to kill them all. Kill, or be killed. How can you kill someone with a knife? Try to win through disarming them? What if they are more skilled? Wouldn't it help to have a knife? Even as a deterrent? Sure it would. One person getting a knife, puts pressure on the others to also have an equivalent or greater weapon. Now, add in a gun to the equation. It forces others to have guns or higher weapons. Escalate this further, and you simply get to the situation that exists today with nuclear weapons. The principle is that of escalation which is the same in the playground of today with knives, as it is in the world scene.

Is it already out??

We may frown on the example of nuclear weapons thinking it is very distant from our lives etc, however almost all of us are victims of a similar kind of escalation. When the first 'complication' is bought in, for example the knife in the story above, it puts pressure on others. This is exactly the same thing that happens when a new technology is released. It puts an upward pressure to consume, this is basically mass consumerism. We should be conscious whilst using some of these things, that whilst they may be useful, they are absolutely not necessities, and when we go on a nice beach break with sand, sea and coconuts, we are starkly reminded of this truth, and indeed like being reminded of it! Secondly, we should understand that if everyone dropped the knives, so to speak, many of the problems of the world, would simply disappear through simplification. However the problem is that no one will dare to drop their knife even though no one really likes holding on to it. The only way to solve the problem, is certainly not through the current generation, it is through the up and coming generations, who can be educated more holistically, and in fact we see this in glimpses sometimes in the way children question the sustainability of the way we are using the planet. We may not have the appetite or readiness to change overnight, even though this is absolutely possible logically speaking, however this change can certainly take place, carefully over time. So, let's be more conscious in the ways we invest, in the ways we interact, and in the ways we essentially grow.

Aggression: A Necessary Evil

As much as we humans would like to think we are above animals, more often than not, we act on the same impulses as the animal kingdom do. To work, eat, defend, and mate, are very similar albeit in more complex ways through jobs, buildings, restaurants, and so on. Those are actions, but also on the level of feelings, we are similar. Animals feel love, anger, compassion, jealousy. Those with pets, will understand especially well. Aggression, like other emotions, sits between being a sentiment and a behavioural expression; and there is a fine line between the two. It's not necessary that anger is the driver for aggression. Even before finishing this article, I can say that avoiding aggression is not an option given the dynamics we are around on a daily basis in this world. If I am not aggressive in trying to get a cab to stop for me in Hong Kong, there are times where I simply would not home or to a meeting. If I am not aggressive in making my way out of the MTR train when it is crowded and am behind five to ten people to get to the door, I will miss my stop. Those are lighter examples, but the principle is the same whether it is a war, or getting out of a train. People even talk of 'aggressive' targets in the corporate environment. When aggression becomes personal and highly emotive, which can happen in relationships that end in divorce for example, or in gang warfare even, it's something that can consume an individual, or a groups lives. It is unhealthy and has big consequences for individuals and society. It's important we understand where our aggression comes from, how we use it, and how we mature as we get older in our outlook towards aggression.
 
I'm not moving
 
When I was in my teen age, we were once on the way back from a wedding. It was in Leicestershire, slightly north of London, where some of the roads are very narrow. If there is an oncoming car, either you pull to the side, and let the car go, or the opposite car does so. Sometimes if the opposite car doesn't take the opportunity to pull to the side and continues coming, and nor do you, then there is a deadlock and someone has to reverse. It is a confrontational situation, and if someone doesn't compromise, and more cars keep coming from behind, there is a build up that arises as a result of lack of ability to compromise. This is what happened on that day of the wedding. We were in a car that was part of those building up. The two drivers who caused the buildup came under increasing pressure, and horning from those behind. One was a young guy, maybe late teens or early twenties, well built. The other was an older guy, maybe late forties. Both were adamant that the other should move back. They shouted and swore at each other. The young guy came out of his car, in a vest. Took his sunglasses off, and the older gent also came out. The youngster wasted no time, and punched the older man, whose hands went to his face as he was bleeding. The young guy carried on punching him, until he was on the floor. When on the floor he began to kick him. There was blood all over both guys. People were shouting for them to stop. There were another three guys in the youngters car, who were stopping others from getting involved. I had never seen such a thing before that time, and the memories of the confrontation are not good ones. It was unnecessary, easily avoidable, and had big consequences.

 

Boys & Men
 
Many martial artists, who are incredibly able in the fighting arts, have never had a fight outside of the dojo, ring or cage. A friend, Billy Schwer, an ex-Professional boxer shared that he was and is terrified of fights, and self-defence was one the main reason he even got into it. Billy ended up becoming British, Commonwealth, and European Light Weight and IBO World Light Welterweight Champion, but his fear of violence is something that stayed and still exists. Billy helps people every day, because this is his mindset; it is non-violent. Violence occurs when there in uncontrolled aggression. There is nothing worst than seeing loved ones harmed by others. Sometimes when I am annoyed at silly things like people getting in my way on the train etc, I have to remind myself that I don't know that person, so should not become angry at them. If someone else got so angry on my loved ones, I would not like it. So what gives me the right to get so angry on someone who may be a caring father, or wife, just because they are getting in my way on my journey, such a petit matter. We certainly all need to check ourselves sometimes. It seems unnecessary aggression is there just below the surface of so any people. In certain societies, anger or aggression does not manifest in violence so easily. This is to some extent because of mind control over generations. If I bang into someone in Hong Kong, I can rest assured that mostly a person won't turn around and start swearing at me aloud, leading to a physical fight. In a crowded bar of testosterone-fuelled teenagers in Aiya Napa, I cannot have the same assurance if I barged into someone. So aggression and use of it varies by people. Mind control is one thing, and rectifying an unjust situation is another. One can have their mind under perfect control, and still use aggression and even violence to rectify a situation.

The question of why
 
If I wanted to bust a drug cartel, I will need a combination of intelligence and likely also some aggression. Stopping violent people harming the innocent may also require aggression. Stopping someone with selfish motives derailing a teams strategy also takes intelligence and potentially aggression. Physical violence and exactly what it is, has always intrigued me. What is physical violence? If you explain to someone that this is not right, but they persist to do it, then you may explain to them further. Then it may lead to an argument over the topic to convince them not to do something wrong. If they persist further, it eventually comes to a point where you need to physically disable them from doing wrong. Aggression arising from pure hatred with no tangible reason, like with the Nazi's is not what am talking about here. This is aggression based on moral values and the broader good for all, which is sometimes required. A mother being aggressive towards a child out of pure love, is the mindset where we want to be. A teacher wants you to improve, so may be aggressive. It is for your benefit, it is not out of hatred. Although it may not be nice, there is no question of whether we need aggression or not, but we have to learn to question the cause of our aggression, harness it, and channel it in a very constructive way for ourselves and others.
 
"(Kings) are sometimes employed to kill animals in hunting because they have to practice the killing art, otherwise it is very difficult for them to fight their enemies. Such things are not auspicious."
Srila Prabhupada, Srimad Bhagawatam, 4.22.13 purport  
 
 
 
 
 

Turning the Volume Down

The Square Mile

 

Yesterday I took a walk through the City of London after perhaps a few years of being in Hong Kong. I went from Moorgate station, through Bank, to London Bridge where I used to work. I passed the Bank of England, and various other prominent financial institutions. I’d walked the same path hundreds of times, over many years, but this time it was very different. I recalled being at University and the reality of getting a job hitting home and being very disappointed that University life would end and I would need to enter a place that so many people complained about. A monotonous routine, horrendous rush hour commutes, bad bosses, and many more factors that played into stressful years in the City that accumulate to leave you less fit, fried out, but keeping holding on financially, with perhaps a few nice holidays and a supported family. Everyone is in the same game. What was the difference between my walk through the Square Mile in London 8 years ago, as opposed to now? Well, I have worked somewhere else for a substantial chunk of time, done things I hadn’t done before and wasn’t planning to do which take a substantial engagement of time and energy. Those are big factors; what you prioritise in life, will be the source of pleasure or distress.

 

 

The Volume

 

I’ve got into a routine of watching the UFC Mixed Martial Arts events on TV every two weeks or so. They’re usually in the US on Saturday nights, meaning they’re aired in Hong Kong on Sunday mornings. It’s a nice time to tune in as Sunday morning is typically a time for rest. There are so many fights on the fight card typically, and sometimes it takes hours and hours to reach the main fight, sometimes the entire morning and past lunch time. So after watching a few times like this with my undivided attention, I thought I could be doing other things at the same time, or tune in and out of fights whilst sorting things out in the house. Every time I’d tune out to do something else, the commentators would get excited, so I’d rush back to the television, and it would usually turn out to be nothing too exciting, so I’d go back to what I was doing, with a little frustration that I stopped what I did. After this happening many times, I thought about what it was which was making me tune in again. It was the commentary, the hype. So I thought, when am doing something else, let me turn the volume down as this is what’s really attracting me back to the TV, and more than half the time it’s pointless. Ok, I may miss a few good moments in a fight, but I end up completing my other tasks, and then tuning back in for the main fight card with my undivided attention, which am more than happy with on a Sunday morning. I then experimented further. Even on the main fight, there was definitely a correlation between my level of interest, and the volume of the TV. Even in the most exciting of fights, if I turned it down, I noticed I was less interested in what was going to happen. I experimented with the same thing when watching the penalty shootouts in the World Cup recently, for me it had the same effect; I was less ‘affected’ when the volume was down. We are what we put into our heads, and one of those things is sound, vibrations. If we control the things that enter our system, we can control the extent to which we’re affected by things.

 

 

It's all still the same, you don't have to be

 

Did I feel more relaxed walking through London after having spent a solid amount of time in another country? Yes, without a doubt. Why was this so? Nelson Mandela once said, “There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.” The bosses are still mostly around. The hectic rummaging is still there. The transport hasn’t changed much. Almost everything is the same, except I’ve turned the volume down. I have seen a little more now, I’ve done a few more things, and therefore I see those same streets now as a bunch of old buildings with people hustling around doing the same thing they were doing ten years ago, except looking a little older. Previously it was everything to me, to my friends, my colleagues, it was life dominating. You’re surrounded by it, it was the priority. The volume was turned up really high on working at a prestigious place, making money, and showing that you are. Now it’s quite simply not. Does this attitude stop you from engaging effectively with it? Absolutely not. Some of the most competent and inspiring leaders, I can now see, have always had this kind of attitude, and yet they’ve engaged with the corporate world so well and in such a balanced way. Others have not. It’s our choice what we be, how high we put the volume, how much we’re affected, how we treat others, and ultimately we choose what we want our destiny to be by deciding what we feed ourselves with.

 
"For human society, constantly thinking of how to earn money and apply it for sense gratification brings about the destruction of everyone’s interests."

Sanat Kumara to King Prthu, Srimad Bhagavatam 4.22.33

 

At What Cost?

Che Diavolo???

We were reminded at work that any gambling we may engage in between teams and people as the Football World Cup approaches, must be approved by the Compliance Officer. It made me smirk as I recalled how we would go to the bookies every lunch and put money on various combinations of results. A combination of likely and a few unlikely results happening would win you a reasonable amount of money. But, sometimes large accumulations would fall through by one result failing. The taste of disappointment in this after it happened a few times in a row would make you want to win the small amount of money you’ve staked, back. How to do this? Well, one way is to take an event that’s extremely likely and almost imminent, and put lots of money on it. 9 times out of 10 it will pull through; the Dominican Republic don’t come back to beat Brazil from being 2-0 down with 5 minutes to go – not very low likelihood, and if you stake enough, you will get something reasonable back. Since the odds are very high, your winnings wouldn’t be great, but at least we’d make back what we lost earlier; or so, as ‘youngsters’ we thought we would. We needed to recover £25. Italy, who had the most water tight defence in the world, had not conceded a single goal in the 2002 Japan and South Korea World Cup of 2002, all the way to the semi-final of the tournament, and were playing again South Korea. There were 15 minutes left, and Italy were, in their usual fashion, winning 1-0. It seemed sure as anything that they would not concede. Me and my friend went to the counter, put down £200, which would win us back the £25 we had earlier lost. I don’t particularly like explaining what happened next. Yes, the Koreans went up full steam, in came a cross, and somehow their striker rose above Paolo Maldini, one of the best defenders in the history of football, and scored! We lost the money, and were pretty disappointed to say the least. Never had our eyes opened wider in disbelief. We then decided we would never stake more than £1 on a particular sequence. Within a few days we won what we had lost. We evaluated how we felt about the sport, and about this gambling. We had initial started to put money on the football because we had quite a genuine interest in it, and thought it would be fun to make some predictions, it would add some excitement. When watching the Italy game however, we didn’t care about how amazing Paolo Maldini’s last ditch tackle was, or Park’s goal was. All we cared about was our money! We didn’t care about the process, we cared about the result.

If we analyse further, the £200 investment yielded nothing. The few £’s investment yielded over £200. Life is like this. Sometimes so much is invested into big things. These seem like the most important.

The Chopper

The sound of the chopper as it gets closer becomes clearer and clearer to everyone; there is anticipation to see who comes in. Eventually, and a elderly but polished looking figure enters with a lady. They are escorted by three people to their table and offered towels to refresh themselves from the journey. They're then served several rounds of refreshments and starters, followed by over a dozen gourmet delicacies along with the finest spirits. A weary, pale figure, knowing he is safe, relaxes in the comforts of the shelter he has taken; it is clear in his eyes. Thousands and thousands of Hong Kong dollars is simply no issue for the momentary peace afforded. What was the real cost of this enjoyment?

The young banker enjoys his night out with the lads, with scores of beautiful women from all over Asia surrounding them. Their toned bodies, tailored for enjoyment; they seem like they can forget whatever else they did during the day and just enjoy. Then as the planes depart for the weekend holiday, anticipation is in the air once again. The excitement of getting away boils. What is the real cost of this enjoyment?

Meanwhile, back in the dojo, the students line up, bow multiple times to pay their respects to the dojo, to the sensei, and to each other. There is a brotherly spirit, and the cost is minimal. Repetition of technique, again and again and again. Improvisation of the same technique, in different situations with different people brings a deeper satisfaction to one. What is the cost of this feeling?

Small everyday deeds

What does a set of martial arts classes for a year cost in comparison with a few holidays? What do they return? What is the longevity of the return? Now am not saying stop going on holiday! They're also fun and such rejevenation is important sometimes. But on the whole we certainly overinvest mentally, emotionally, and financially in things that have a very futile return, and underinvest in those things that have deeper, long lasting returns. If we live consciously of this, then in our work and outside dealings we will feel a greater deal of satisfaction, which will make us simultaneously happy and sober.  

As for the gentleman in the Michelin 3 star restaurant arriving by helicopter, what was the cost? From his eyes, it looked like a life-long stress in a business or something. Maybe it wasn’t, maybe it was a few lucky breaks, or an inheritance, who knows? Whatever the cause, you could see he was able to release his stress or anxiety in the restaurant not being around people except his lady. For the bankers, they have to work all hours, in a cut-throat environment, all day to sustain their routine and lifestyle. For the martial arts students however, it is daily increments of effort, of discipline which remove them mentally from all the things of this world, teach them to respect and to be humble, and to be determined. It costs a fraction of the price of the things mentioned above in many respects. What purchasable things do you need to practise martial arts? For Bruce Lee, it was hardly anything. For Tony Jaa, it was hardly anything. The important things in life, which can make us happier in a deeper way centre around good values and principles, and good values and principles do not cost anything. They’re free. Simple-heartedness is a rare virtue in many places, but is most endearing. Warren Buffet is simple hearted, and I don’t think he’d trade that mindset for any amount of money; he doesn’t need to.

A balanced life is very important, and we should absolutely make sure we are doing what we and our families need, but also the education that it’s not the £200 stakes that take all our resources that make us rich, it is the small things, the little things, but infused with goodness, which make us truly rich in life.

Galadriel: Why the Halfling?

Gandalf: I do not know. Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay, small acts of kindness and love.

 

 

They Want to be Told What to Do!

We often think we are able to guide ourselves sufficiently well, though many experiences in a huge range of fields show there's much to be said about being instructed, being told what to do. Whilst we need a balance between own judgement and instruction, in a world that is moving toward doing what you want, how you want it, we need to reassess how helpful instruction can be.
 

“They want to be told what to do!”

 

"They want to be told what to do!", said His Holiness Rtadvaja Maharaj to me, after I explained to him the lack of discipline with children these days. When showing some of the kids in our martial arts class a set of core exercises, I personally found it frustrating to deal with when I didn't see anywhere near level of discipline we had when we were kids neither in terms of perseverance nor behaviour. Rtadvaja Maharaj had extensive experience dealing with children in the US, in raising them with cultural values, spiritual values, respect and self sufficiency. He explained to me how he facilitated their taking taekwondo and judo lessons and how house rules and etiquette were pivotal to everything in their development. He explained how many of them come to him now as adults and thank him for such discipline at the time. After this conversation I kept in mind what he had instructed, that the kids, they actually want to be told what to do! This seemed totally against what I thought. Every time I told them what to do, it seemed they didn’t have the perseverance to follow it, or somehow preferred to do their own thing, their own incorrect adaptation. This had led me to change tact. I thought, ok it’s a new generation of kids, their lifestyles are different, maybe I need to be more accommodating. So over time I had either gone on one extreme or another; being either too lenient, or too strict. This was because no one had, with real conviction, confirmed what style works in that context and what doesn’t. So with Maharaj’s advice, I adjusted the style to put discipline and house rules back in the centre. Instead of saying "Hey, you just missed 5 repetitions, go to the side of the room and do double the number!" but rather "Do 20 additional repetitions as it's a house rule we all must follow so we improve our discipline." A somewhat small change in the context of a crazy room of kids who are falling over each other, but one that would prove effective over time. After a few months, I thought I'd try a different technique. I had been trying to work on some explosiveness, which wasn’t so strong. If you imagine sitting on the floor with your knees and shins flat on the ground with your feet tucked behind, and your back straight, from this position, the technique involved getting up onto both feet in a single motion. It's not only a test of explosive power but also the mental orientation. Your mind must be convinced, or trust the fact that you will thrust up in one motion. So as we were all about to cool down I said. what I'll do next I want you guys to do it. I demonstrated the thrust technique and stood up on both feet in one motion to a set of faces which had the expression "Oh, that looks cool, but I don't think I can do it." I explained that more than half of the challenge is mental for you, as you have sufficient physical capacity to do it, put your minds to it imagining what you'll do, and your body will follow, trust me. The kids got to their start positions, and within a few seconds, to my surprise, almost all of the ten or so children were able to do it. Although not showing my surprise, I was overwhelmed at how they trusted the instruction, and most of them we're able to get up, some of them with some real explosiveness! What a pleasure to see. They went to their parents and friends after class and also to their surprise, showed what they could do. Parents and children were happy and this created a kind of buzz, a kind of energy, I had not experienced there before. I believe instruction, discipline, and direction that Maharaj spoke of, had eventually led to this trust, and that trust had led to results that were otherwise impossible.

 

Unconstructive Creativity

I was invited to speak at a conference consisting of the banking community this week. One gentleman reflected, that bankers should respect and appreciate the openness of the Asian regulators in having open dialogue with the community they are regulating. It was a sensible point I thought. I expected most to agree with this, however, another gentleman, shared a contrary opinion. He said that when the banking community has been left to it’s own accord, it has resulted in overly complex, tedious, and mis-focussed dialogues, where 90% of the time has been spent discussing 10% of the issues. He said that we can become too creative, which has proven to lead to further complications. I was astonished to hear this from people who have the image that they think they know everything and are God’s gifts to everyone else. He rounded off by saying, sometimes we need to be told in black and white, what to use, and what to do. Remembering Rtadvaja Maharaj’s guidance on the kids wanting to be told what to do and the results that followed from this, it drew a clear parallel. When trying to get a huge, global community who are super high tempo, to reduce systemic risk, and increase transparency, how is it possible to achieve this without having certain common standards being set? In the beginning of regulatory change nobody wants to be told what to do, but after being given time and space it is realised that there is a need to set the standard in certain areas. From a legal standpoint, if there is not a consistent set of rules across jurisdictions, there may be market arbitrage. From a technical standpoint if there are not standards in place, things simply won't operate. From a process perspective if there are not consistent standards, there may not be transferability. We need to be told what to do, otherwise we can become what I’d call “unconstructively creative.”

 

Does this mean anything for us from a personal and also leadership perspective? Social media has effectively set an even playing field in one sense, for everyone irrespective of age, social status, geography etc. Justin Bieber has a Twitter account, and so do I, so do some of my cousins in India who live in rural villages, so do my uncles who are pushing 60. It’s changed certain aspects of the way we live, the way we share, the way we interact. The temptation is therefore there to view everyone as equal. The previous generations in their time never had these technologies, they used to interact in person face to face, most the time. In light of this new way, if we throw away values of respecting elders who have more experience, benevolence, and a desire to help the future generations, this may represent some of this 'unconstructive creativity'. If we don’t understand the principle of taking guidance, and we become more self-centred, and do not come to this realisation on our own accords, there will come a point where in the depth of our existence, we will hunger to be told what to do.