They Want to be Told What to Do!

We often think we are able to guide ourselves sufficiently well, though many experiences in a huge range of fields show there's much to be said about being instructed, being told what to do. Whilst we need a balance between own judgement and instruction, in a world that is moving toward doing what you want, how you want it, we need to reassess how helpful instruction can be.
 

“They want to be told what to do!”

 

"They want to be told what to do!", said His Holiness Rtadvaja Maharaj to me, after I explained to him the lack of discipline with children these days. When showing some of the kids in our martial arts class a set of core exercises, I personally found it frustrating to deal with when I didn't see anywhere near level of discipline we had when we were kids neither in terms of perseverance nor behaviour. Rtadvaja Maharaj had extensive experience dealing with children in the US, in raising them with cultural values, spiritual values, respect and self sufficiency. He explained to me how he facilitated their taking taekwondo and judo lessons and how house rules and etiquette were pivotal to everything in their development. He explained how many of them come to him now as adults and thank him for such discipline at the time. After this conversation I kept in mind what he had instructed, that the kids, they actually want to be told what to do! This seemed totally against what I thought. Every time I told them what to do, it seemed they didn’t have the perseverance to follow it, or somehow preferred to do their own thing, their own incorrect adaptation. This had led me to change tact. I thought, ok it’s a new generation of kids, their lifestyles are different, maybe I need to be more accommodating. So over time I had either gone on one extreme or another; being either too lenient, or too strict. This was because no one had, with real conviction, confirmed what style works in that context and what doesn’t. So with Maharaj’s advice, I adjusted the style to put discipline and house rules back in the centre. Instead of saying "Hey, you just missed 5 repetitions, go to the side of the room and do double the number!" but rather "Do 20 additional repetitions as it's a house rule we all must follow so we improve our discipline." A somewhat small change in the context of a crazy room of kids who are falling over each other, but one that would prove effective over time. After a few months, I thought I'd try a different technique. I had been trying to work on some explosiveness, which wasn’t so strong. If you imagine sitting on the floor with your knees and shins flat on the ground with your feet tucked behind, and your back straight, from this position, the technique involved getting up onto both feet in a single motion. It's not only a test of explosive power but also the mental orientation. Your mind must be convinced, or trust the fact that you will thrust up in one motion. So as we were all about to cool down I said. what I'll do next I want you guys to do it. I demonstrated the thrust technique and stood up on both feet in one motion to a set of faces which had the expression "Oh, that looks cool, but I don't think I can do it." I explained that more than half of the challenge is mental for you, as you have sufficient physical capacity to do it, put your minds to it imagining what you'll do, and your body will follow, trust me. The kids got to their start positions, and within a few seconds, to my surprise, almost all of the ten or so children were able to do it. Although not showing my surprise, I was overwhelmed at how they trusted the instruction, and most of them we're able to get up, some of them with some real explosiveness! What a pleasure to see. They went to their parents and friends after class and also to their surprise, showed what they could do. Parents and children were happy and this created a kind of buzz, a kind of energy, I had not experienced there before. I believe instruction, discipline, and direction that Maharaj spoke of, had eventually led to this trust, and that trust had led to results that were otherwise impossible.

 

Unconstructive Creativity

I was invited to speak at a conference consisting of the banking community this week. One gentleman reflected, that bankers should respect and appreciate the openness of the Asian regulators in having open dialogue with the community they are regulating. It was a sensible point I thought. I expected most to agree with this, however, another gentleman, shared a contrary opinion. He said that when the banking community has been left to it’s own accord, it has resulted in overly complex, tedious, and mis-focussed dialogues, where 90% of the time has been spent discussing 10% of the issues. He said that we can become too creative, which has proven to lead to further complications. I was astonished to hear this from people who have the image that they think they know everything and are God’s gifts to everyone else. He rounded off by saying, sometimes we need to be told in black and white, what to use, and what to do. Remembering Rtadvaja Maharaj’s guidance on the kids wanting to be told what to do and the results that followed from this, it drew a clear parallel. When trying to get a huge, global community who are super high tempo, to reduce systemic risk, and increase transparency, how is it possible to achieve this without having certain common standards being set? In the beginning of regulatory change nobody wants to be told what to do, but after being given time and space it is realised that there is a need to set the standard in certain areas. From a legal standpoint, if there is not a consistent set of rules across jurisdictions, there may be market arbitrage. From a technical standpoint if there are not standards in place, things simply won't operate. From a process perspective if there are not consistent standards, there may not be transferability. We need to be told what to do, otherwise we can become what I’d call “unconstructively creative.”

 

Does this mean anything for us from a personal and also leadership perspective? Social media has effectively set an even playing field in one sense, for everyone irrespective of age, social status, geography etc. Justin Bieber has a Twitter account, and so do I, so do some of my cousins in India who live in rural villages, so do my uncles who are pushing 60. It’s changed certain aspects of the way we live, the way we share, the way we interact. The temptation is therefore there to view everyone as equal. The previous generations in their time never had these technologies, they used to interact in person face to face, most the time. In light of this new way, if we throw away values of respecting elders who have more experience, benevolence, and a desire to help the future generations, this may represent some of this 'unconstructive creativity'. If we don’t understand the principle of taking guidance, and we become more self-centred, and do not come to this realisation on our own accords, there will come a point where in the depth of our existence, we will hunger to be told what to do.

Importance of the Next Generation

Importance of the Next Generation

When Lord Rama was sent to gurukul, his teacher was Vasishta Muni, a renowned and very wise sage, said to his students, please do not take on my bad qualities, and please accept any good qualities I may have. This was his humility, and that too, fitting for a great sage, and in the context of great students. Srila Prabhupada, a great teacher of the essence of the ancient Vedic principles particularly in the West, had a disciple who was a particularly talented artist. One day he was speaking to this disciple, and he said, “I can write, but you cannot write. You can paint, but I cannot paint. Let’s work together in Krishna’s service.” Whilst these examples are fundamentally spiritual in their objectives, when principles are extracted from such perfect scenarios, when even a small effort is made to apply them in the situations and contexts we are in today, the results can be astounding. As part of arranging a nicer situation, one should take stock of where they lack; even if it may not be ability, but simply time, and engage others according to their inclinations. This requires introspection, awareness, and an interest in others. Only then can one successful expand something.  The Vedic system has always placed emphasis on the training of the future generations. We see in both the Ramayana and Mahabharata, the great King’s, Queen’s, families, would take keen interest in the next generations upbringing. This is very important. A few weeks back, we held an event, and rather than inviting another senior speaker to say some words, we decided to have the youth speak. With some training, they were able to engage their energy positively to great effect. The result was simple; inspiration for the current generation, and promise for the next.
 

Unless we aim high, values may not be necessary

If someone sets low targets, then they don’t need discipline; they don’t need to abstain from certain things, they can be lax, and still come through. If we are striving for high goals, in whatever field; then we will need discipline; we will need regulation; we will need continual inspiration and encouragement from those better than us. When people strive high, and do things in the right way, they will need certain values. As one of the students pointed out to me today, the only place you can find success before work, is in the dictionary. In order to work, we need to be regulated. In order to repeat success many times, if we want to deeply understand the principle, we will need humility. UFC legend, and welterweight champion, Georges St-Pierre is a great example of humility and success. He openly posted a video of him trying to do a one-armed pull up. He said, I cannot do this, I do not have the power, but if someone can, then please show me and with your help, maybe I can learn. Earlier this weekend, I was fortunate enough to spend some time with the Chief Executive of Hong Kong Rugby Union to discuss a few things. In addition to that role, he is one of the head coaches for the Hong Kong Youth Team, and often has the likes of Martin Johnson alongside to train with them to impart his knowledge and experience. He shared that, we try to make them better people through rugby, and that he firmly believes they do become better people. He said when they lose, they should learn to lose with humility, and congratulate the winning team humbly. When they win, they should be humble and tone down any celebrations, and console the other team. His words were those of deep experience, not only of the greatness of such values, but also of the dangers of not having such values. In extreme scenarios and situations, with positive advice, comes implicit warning in not heeding the advise. So goals should be set high; even if we may not achieve them, the transformation that will happen to us in the process, will yield values that we would never imagine could be cultivated if we had set the bar lower.