Genuine Openness: Perception & Selectiveness

Perception

Life is a funny process. Another year ends, and another begins. The only thing we have guaranteed to take with us is more experience. What is the quality of our experiences? What have they bought to us? It's important we are clear on what biases shape our psyche so that we are genuinely receptive to the arrangements in the world and our lives in a manner that is independent-minded and true to who we are. With more knowledge doesn’t necessarily come happiness. Yesterday morning I went to a bar to watch a mixed martial arts event, UFC 219. Being New Years Eve, there was practically no one there, but there was a festive atmosphere. I asked the bar lady whether they were showing the event. She asked for detail and I explained. She said in her mid-western accent, “Sure we can play it, but there’s gonna be no sound cos there’s gonna be kiddies comin' soon.” A few hours in, and a lady came in dressed as a clown, red lipstick covering almost the entire width of her face, a multi-coloured skirt and a baggy top. It was just me and her at the bar. Having forgotten about the kids party, I was initially thinking it could be someone with an odd taste, perhaps not all quite up there in the head. I then realised the kids might be having a party, and that it’s probably the clown for the party. We had some odd exchanges; I initially gave her a concerned look, and she gave me quite a straight look in return. In the facial exchange it was almost an exchange being responded to with a confirmation that she was there for a job. She spent a good half hour blowing up and tying balloons into different shapes. As it approached noon, many parents began to come in with their kids. After sitting down and ordering their food, some of the kids would individually approach the clown and she would give them a small gift. The way they approached was a stark contrast to how they behaved at their table with their parents. On the table they made noise, and were comfortable and familiar. When they approached the clown, they were shy, a little hesitant, but had an air of excited nervousness, which created a sense of anticipation on how the clown would react to them. Feeling very happy, they went back to their table and with great excitement and explained to their parents what they had received. My observing the clown before any kids were present; she understood I was there to watch the event on the big screen, and I knew she was there doing her job as a clown. Both as human beings getting on with activities which we both understood, there was a level of transparency. This comes about as we grow up and learn about things one tends to do in life i.e. work to sustain oneself.  For the kids however, the equation was totally different. They have a concept of a clown, not that it’s a human being who puts some face paint on, some different dress, and presents themselves as a clown. They just see a clown, and this is what they saw. There was a huge difference in my reaction, interaction, and what I got out of the clown verses what the children got from the clown. For them, it made almost a magical experience, for me the clown was just a distraction.

Selectiveness

As a kid in the UK, pre-Christmas holidays were some of the best times. I recall waiting for the TV guide when newspapers and magazines would publish what would be on TV, and the Christmas Eve, Day and New Years Eve and Day would have amazing films on, which coupled with food, family and games would make for an incredible time. The anticipation factor in this was huge. Seeing which films were on, following the football games over the period, and finally the anti-climax of going back to school. Films are now on tab online, as is almost any commodity. The interactional element cannot be commoditised, but our mentalities can drift that way. Getting a football shirt when at school as a gift, then showing it to everyone at school was a big deal. When we are older we can have all of those things, however the bliss perhaps isn’t the same as a kid receiving them. Faith and knowledge have an interesting relationship. The magic of Christmas, takes faith to believe in it. In the same way I dissected the clown in my head, if we dissect Christmas using logic, according to the way we celebrate, there isn’t much of a link. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Christ, who was effectively from the Middle-East, and by no stretch of our imagination anything to do with the West. In fact, Jesus was geographically closer to Africa and India than he is to the West. So why not represent Jesus in this way as a clearly having Middle Eastern origin? Why the Santa Clause? Reindeer, and so many other things? This is selectiveness. I enjoy the Christmas spirit as much as the next person does, but it’s things we create in our heads and put faith in, and therefore feel a certain way about Christmas. A few weeks ago, there was a documentary about a baby elephant stuck in a hole in India. The person taking the video went very close to the elephant to the point you would very clearly see the elephants eyes, mouth, tongue and trunk in great detail. We are typically used to seeing elephants from afar, however seeing it from close gives much more realisation of how real a creature it is. The sound of an elephant is over 100 decibels, which is as loud as a jet flying 1,000 feet in the sky and they weigh up to 7 tonnes.  I guess this is what the term “up close and personal” also relates to. The elephant was so real, but yet so unbelievable as a species. If we had no idea that such a thing as an elephant exists, and someone purely gave a description, I have little doubt many people would easily dismiss it. 

Though technology and society are moving with pace, even to the extent they are fast changing human psychology, habits and motivations, there is a “naturalness” to connecting with existence and embracing that there are many things we simply cannot understand through our limited perceptions and misplaced faith in things. There is a sense of open mindedness that comes with mentally being aligned with natures many manifestations and learning to live our lives in a way that has a greater sense of harmony with these. This way we will experience the bliss of a child rather than distraction of an adult.

The mind is the instrument for feeling different material experiences, but intelligence is deliberative and can change everything for the better. The intelligent person therefore can attain salvation from the illusion of material existence by proper use of intelligence. The Vedas

They Want to be Told What to Do!

We often think we are able to guide ourselves sufficiently well, though many experiences in a huge range of fields show there's much to be said about being instructed, being told what to do. Whilst we need a balance between own judgement and instruction, in a world that is moving toward doing what you want, how you want it, we need to reassess how helpful instruction can be.
 

“They want to be told what to do!”

 

"They want to be told what to do!", said His Holiness Rtadvaja Maharaj to me, after I explained to him the lack of discipline with children these days. When showing some of the kids in our martial arts class a set of core exercises, I personally found it frustrating to deal with when I didn't see anywhere near level of discipline we had when we were kids neither in terms of perseverance nor behaviour. Rtadvaja Maharaj had extensive experience dealing with children in the US, in raising them with cultural values, spiritual values, respect and self sufficiency. He explained to me how he facilitated their taking taekwondo and judo lessons and how house rules and etiquette were pivotal to everything in their development. He explained how many of them come to him now as adults and thank him for such discipline at the time. After this conversation I kept in mind what he had instructed, that the kids, they actually want to be told what to do! This seemed totally against what I thought. Every time I told them what to do, it seemed they didn’t have the perseverance to follow it, or somehow preferred to do their own thing, their own incorrect adaptation. This had led me to change tact. I thought, ok it’s a new generation of kids, their lifestyles are different, maybe I need to be more accommodating. So over time I had either gone on one extreme or another; being either too lenient, or too strict. This was because no one had, with real conviction, confirmed what style works in that context and what doesn’t. So with Maharaj’s advice, I adjusted the style to put discipline and house rules back in the centre. Instead of saying "Hey, you just missed 5 repetitions, go to the side of the room and do double the number!" but rather "Do 20 additional repetitions as it's a house rule we all must follow so we improve our discipline." A somewhat small change in the context of a crazy room of kids who are falling over each other, but one that would prove effective over time. After a few months, I thought I'd try a different technique. I had been trying to work on some explosiveness, which wasn’t so strong. If you imagine sitting on the floor with your knees and shins flat on the ground with your feet tucked behind, and your back straight, from this position, the technique involved getting up onto both feet in a single motion. It's not only a test of explosive power but also the mental orientation. Your mind must be convinced, or trust the fact that you will thrust up in one motion. So as we were all about to cool down I said. what I'll do next I want you guys to do it. I demonstrated the thrust technique and stood up on both feet in one motion to a set of faces which had the expression "Oh, that looks cool, but I don't think I can do it." I explained that more than half of the challenge is mental for you, as you have sufficient physical capacity to do it, put your minds to it imagining what you'll do, and your body will follow, trust me. The kids got to their start positions, and within a few seconds, to my surprise, almost all of the ten or so children were able to do it. Although not showing my surprise, I was overwhelmed at how they trusted the instruction, and most of them we're able to get up, some of them with some real explosiveness! What a pleasure to see. They went to their parents and friends after class and also to their surprise, showed what they could do. Parents and children were happy and this created a kind of buzz, a kind of energy, I had not experienced there before. I believe instruction, discipline, and direction that Maharaj spoke of, had eventually led to this trust, and that trust had led to results that were otherwise impossible.

 

Unconstructive Creativity

I was invited to speak at a conference consisting of the banking community this week. One gentleman reflected, that bankers should respect and appreciate the openness of the Asian regulators in having open dialogue with the community they are regulating. It was a sensible point I thought. I expected most to agree with this, however, another gentleman, shared a contrary opinion. He said that when the banking community has been left to it’s own accord, it has resulted in overly complex, tedious, and mis-focussed dialogues, where 90% of the time has been spent discussing 10% of the issues. He said that we can become too creative, which has proven to lead to further complications. I was astonished to hear this from people who have the image that they think they know everything and are God’s gifts to everyone else. He rounded off by saying, sometimes we need to be told in black and white, what to use, and what to do. Remembering Rtadvaja Maharaj’s guidance on the kids wanting to be told what to do and the results that followed from this, it drew a clear parallel. When trying to get a huge, global community who are super high tempo, to reduce systemic risk, and increase transparency, how is it possible to achieve this without having certain common standards being set? In the beginning of regulatory change nobody wants to be told what to do, but after being given time and space it is realised that there is a need to set the standard in certain areas. From a legal standpoint, if there is not a consistent set of rules across jurisdictions, there may be market arbitrage. From a technical standpoint if there are not standards in place, things simply won't operate. From a process perspective if there are not consistent standards, there may not be transferability. We need to be told what to do, otherwise we can become what I’d call “unconstructively creative.”

 

Does this mean anything for us from a personal and also leadership perspective? Social media has effectively set an even playing field in one sense, for everyone irrespective of age, social status, geography etc. Justin Bieber has a Twitter account, and so do I, so do some of my cousins in India who live in rural villages, so do my uncles who are pushing 60. It’s changed certain aspects of the way we live, the way we share, the way we interact. The temptation is therefore there to view everyone as equal. The previous generations in their time never had these technologies, they used to interact in person face to face, most the time. In light of this new way, if we throw away values of respecting elders who have more experience, benevolence, and a desire to help the future generations, this may represent some of this 'unconstructive creativity'. If we don’t understand the principle of taking guidance, and we become more self-centred, and do not come to this realisation on our own accords, there will come a point where in the depth of our existence, we will hunger to be told what to do.

Remembrance: the Source of Success

 The Fortnight

I had a very intense two week period planning for an event we held last week, and the week proceeding it was a spent with some of the senior leadership visits from the UK, Asia and the US. Many aspects of my routine suffered as a result from diet, to sleep, to training. My diet was more based on eating out albeit at top end restaurants, my sleep was cut to almost half of what I normally have and need, and my training frequency was limited to the weekends and at best once in the week. The two periods of “busy-ness” were however very different. For the large event we held, it required my complete absorption, at all times, and was quite intense and full of unexpected events happening. The set of senior leadership visits were less intense, more entertaining, and all very much planned. Though the negative impact on my training routine, sleep, and diet were similar in both weeks, my ability and performance during the Muay Thai sessions was markedly better after the second period than the first. Analysing why, led to some quite profound realisations around remembrance that have implications in whatever fields we work in, or even operate in.
 

Different impacts

During the first week, due to the absorption, I certainly couldn’t take care of the “gross” things like diet, sleep, or training, and also on a “subtle” level, mentally I was 100% focused on the event and securing its success, at all costs. During the leadership visit, whilst at a gross level I had to commit, on a subtle level I was thinking of my training, I was visualizing the moves. Anything I’d see at head height I would visualize certain moves at that height. When I would walk, I would remember the forward step motion, and when I would sit down I would remember the lower postures. Whilst physically engaged and active, I would have plenty of opportunity to remember. When I went to the Muay Thai session, I was so eager to perform the moves on the pads, with the gloves, with my trainers; because I had been remembering it. After the first week however, when I returned to the Centre, it was a terrible struggle. It almost felt like starting over; because I was not remembering.
 

A spirit of remembrance

When we have a reporting chain in the workplace, unless we remember what we need to deliver, and the way it needs to be delivered also, there is every chance we will just go with the flow, and forget those things. This will lead to a number of mark downs by our seniors. It is not a leadership quality to forget collective aspirations and let scope and time of our activities to creep up in a way that we’re not conscious of; we must continually remember, and address the things we agree with our seniors in order to be successful. Unless of course there are opportunities to innovate which achieve those same goals and more in a way that is acceptable and bonafide, and done with integrity. If we are entrepreneurs, it can be a struggle to operate in the kinds of economic circumstances we see today all over the world. If we do not continually remind ourselves the reasons we’re doing what we’re doing, the levels of motivation will inevitably drop and negativity may also creep in.
 

The magic of remembrance

Remembrance is most powerful, it is born of thought, which is born of consciousness. The more we train our consciousness to be focused, the more we will find noble, realistic and ambitious thoughts arising. In the Vedic scriptures it says that the single most important thing is to remember the Supreme Person, and never forget Him. Of hundred of thousands of lines of deep scripture, this is the fountainhead of all teachings; Always remember God, and never forget Him. Ones success at school and in the early stages of their education also comes down to remembrance in exams of all those things that have been taught. Muhammad Ali said, the fight is won or lost far away from witnesses - behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights. Remembrance is a choice, and choice depends on our desire. So, how much do we want to be successful?

Handling Success

In reflection of the London Olympic games, the most successful for Great Britain in history, and that too on home turf, it is timely to look at different ways of handling success and the effect they have on the longevity of this success. The extent to how well success is received and built upon is largely determined by what our success is attributed to. The steps one takes after receiving success determine the sustainability of our success. If one attributes success to their own inherent greatness, the reaction may be one of arrogance and potentially slackening of practise, and therefore less longevity. If one attributes their success to hard work and the help of others, it will likely result in gratitude and persistent and concentrated effort. Successful people are looked up to by others, and the example they set in handling success is often followed by others. It is a responsibility for leaders to set an ethical and noble example in handling success as this will be embodied in future generations, and therefore has the ability to create not only success that lasts a lifetime, but a legacy spanning generations. We shall see through a number of examples that the successful handling of success comes down to clarity of thought, and staying firmly grounded.

People try to emulate success

How the British athletes performed is to be commended. How these young idols for many young people who were engaged in violent crimes during the UK riots, can have a large scale and long term effect on the country. Many of the athletes have been very gracious in their victories, dedicating wins to their teams, coaches, children, and families. Time will tell how they maintain such an attitude. The gym in the apartment I stay in doesn’t have a large dedicated area where one can practise martial arts type of training. In absence of this, I often go near the children’s area to do such a warming up. As I was practising some punches and kicks, I failed to notice a small boy and girl were copying me standing behind me. They had very serious and aggressive looks on their little faces with their brows raised as they tried to copy my expression also. Seeing them doing this, with their pink and blue shorts and toys near them I smiled. They became totally confused seeing my reaction; they must have been thinking that I was so serious, in such a fixed position, moving fast and hard, to suddenly being completely loose, relaxing and smiling. Within a moment, they loosed up also and we all began to laugh together. It is our nature to emulate certain things we find attractive. In the world today, people try to emulate those who are successful. However, peoples’ minds sometimes fail to distinguish between what are the real causes of success verses what are not. Negative characterstics, habits, mannerisms, ethos, beliefs, etc are not the causes of success, however are easily emulated by weaker people. Whereas the real causes of success, which are often a hard working ethic, and inclination to learn good techniques, and strategies from others, are not so easy to take on for people who have a weak nature that easily succumbs to a temptation to give up and not be sincere in purpose.

Why So Serious?

 After the premiere of most recent Batman film, The Dark Knight Rises, Tom Hardy, who played the villain ‘Bane’ was asked about his experience in working with Christian Bale, who starred as Bruce Wayne. Hardy commented that “We’re both very serious about what we do, but don’t take ourselves so seriously.” This was a very interesting attitude, and one that had interestingly been encouraged by spiritualist Bhakti Tirtha Maharaj also in his stating how remaining jovial at times helps in keeping grounded. Christian Bale was in a very strong position as he was in demand being requested by many in Hollywood to star in the next Batman. He commented in a gracious manner, that it had been a real honour for him to play the role. He could have adopted an attitude of arrogance if he wanted to, but chose to be gracious. This kind of attitude can help separate whatever may come from our efforts, from who we are in essence; it's eye-opening how easily sometimes the two are mixed; when people purchase very opulent things, become successful, they sometimes begin to think that they are those things, or are that success. But did they simply not exist before the success and things came along? We can take our work very seriously, but if we are detached at a deeper level, then we won’t be so affected either in success or failure. What a win-win situation that is; if we lose, we don’t mind and we take responsibility, and if we win, we just continue to work hard and attract more success.

Vishwamitra Muni goes back to the Mountains

In the days of Lord Rama, several millennia ago, on the extremely long awaited occasion of Lord Rama’s marriage, the great sage Vishwamitra Muni had been called to perform the ceremony as the priest. After a long celebration that lasted for weeks, Lord Rama’s Father, Dasarath, explained to Vishwamitra Muni that due to his holy presence, there was such positive energy and auspiciousness in the land of Ayodhya. The King politely requested that Vishwamitra Muni not leave, and extend his stay. Vishwamitra Muni however politely declined. He said that one must be vigilant, especially in success. In a humble manner, he cited a time where he had gathered great power through meditation, and had lost this all just in a few moments due to being distracted. The great sage replied that therefore, it is infact more important now than ever, in the midst of such success and opulence that he return to his simple Ashram in the mountains, and return to his meditational and devotional practices with great determination. He explained that actually these things are the foundations of any auspiciousness that may exist which King Dasarath spoke of. If we handle success with such a grounded, fixed, and determined manner, then surely we will create a mindset that is very favourable to endured success.